Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
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Top comments
madison104 14
as a fellow swim instructor, I would've done the same
Sandsh8rk 36
Well, that's one way to use a human shield.
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Comments (43)
Sandsh8rk 36
Well, that's one way to use a human shield.
OptimusSlime 23
This is irrelevant but I love you profile picture
liane918 16
#33 this is irrelevant but i hate your profile picture. f$&#?ing creepy.
hellnosucka 27
I mean, what are children for, really?
Danne696 14
OP is just utilising their full potential.
NeatNit 33
This is why they make them.
madison104 14
as a fellow swim instructor, I would've done the same
coming back in the future 30
Water bunch of hose. I'm sorry :(
grigri75 35
i enjoyed that pun more than i should have.
Sansational_ 18
#5 retweet
FuckThisLogin 32
Well at least you acted defensively instead of attacking back with what you were holding
yerawizardlizzy 27
I definitely read it too fast at first and thought OP did. I imagined a kid flying through the air. XD
kyu_Q 19
hopefully the child thought is was a game and isn't scarred for life.
Magnoxidans 19
If anyone brings it up just play it off as you were doing it intentionally and it was part of a game you were playing!
kaylocca 20
Sheesh I live in New York which was freezing today and MA is usually colder than here so I hope the child wasn't too cold.. & the parent wasn't watching and mad.
False_Stupidity 42
Any parent getting mad at their kid getting wet when they are at swimming classes needs a new brain since the old one has clearly decayed beyond saving.
Calingaladha 21
It's likely an indoor pool also, as most outdoor ones don't open until Memorial Day or so.
ulissey_fml 22
We are all glad to know you are not a soccer coach.
grogers311 20
Or a paintball referee
AshleyLuvsFrank 12
Lol
Calingaladha 21
It seems children make for effective barrier protection. We can make use of this for cheaper and more efficient police armor, military gear, condoms, and umbrellas.
pokemyeyes 23
This just went downhill when you listed "condoms".
Calingaladha 21
There is a certain irony to it, I suppose.
leafynitemare 24
I'm not sure how willing children would be going to "work" as "Bob's left arm armor #1" cause you'd need another for the back of the arm.
ciammmm 11
I laughed so hard I hurt now.