Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML
Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML
Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
MCart_fml 0
Remember only 2 shakes are appropriate in the bathroom, anything else and you deserve the embarrassment..
FMLhilar 0
hahahahahahaha thats just embarassing
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Comments (81)
FMLhilar 0
hahahahahahaha thats just embarassing
Hunthas 17
the same thing happened to me, except with raccoons :(
mgfootball 0
at least your not in the longest yard
ZTB13 4
I think I've seen thus movie.... Doesn't end well for you pal.... :(
MCart_fml 0
Remember only 2 shakes are appropriate in the bathroom, anything else and you deserve the embarrassment..
writergirl69 0
Oh Jesus, I'm so glad I'm a girl and don't have to worry about this shit
xNephilim 19
Wipe more than twice and you're playing with yourself. My friend always used to say that to me before I went to the restroom, haha.
BryanAU 0
jesus christ...
wheresdanet 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. That is quality
greenman_fml 0
there is so much wrong with you. first, why swing your dick around? second, how does one get a boner from swinging a dick around? third, if you feel yourself getting a boner, why not stop whatever is inducing that boner? i just don't get it
happygolucky 0
hahhahhahahaha sucks for you, definitely.
bradley5055 0
lol wow that really sucks to be u
peacock_mina19 0
Nice. Sorry but is def. your problem for doing that in a public place.
mylifesuck1123 0
by far the funniest thing ive seen. cant say you dont deserve it tho
borba72 0
Just try not to rub your hard dick into someone's butt.