Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
elfuzzo 0
Children are little *****. This is one more reason why we should abort all babies.
Chad_Brisson 2
You do realize that would equally you not being born right?... Ok maybe you have a point.
Themaineaddict 0
Ignorant much? Everyone has the right to live. Everyone blames our generation for crap but think of who raised us. It wasn't the kids fault he was only 4. He doesn't know any better. If anything f the moms life she didn't teach him any better
AnimeAddict 0
don't you think if we abort all babies that it would be the end of mankind as we know it.....
rawrchimichangas 0
fyl! bet that kid never looks under a dressing room door again...
katelynmarie 0
Ahaha, kid learned a life lesson.
amiotica 2
its called self defence... if someone decides to peep at you in a change room its a violation of your rights as a human being and you can defend those rights if you feel violated... yes its sad that it happened to be a little kid but instincts are instincts... you cant control them.. its like saying ouch when you are hurt.. its just happens... a natural occuring event
Whatevers_clever 0
Lmao!!! But aww poor kid, I hope he was ok after that :)
AdamGD 0
Wow that sucks! I dont blame you though, i would have done the same thing. That kid should have just yelled mom instead of looking under dressing room doors
Miso_Soupu 0
Can't really blame the kid. 4 year old can't think through things and make good judgment calls yet. The mother is the one to blame. A kid that young shouldn't be wandering around alone. They could get in trouble. Or kicked in the face.
cheertigers 0
hahhaha awww that's so sad!
stephane_fml 0
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?
kurtsee 0
BOOM HEAD SHOT lol this kids going to grow up to be a creeper why woud u stick ur head under the door instead of calling out moom where are you
emzmcgee 0
Gosh I don't know, because the kid was four??
lil_lucy23 0
Sorry... but a 4 yr old should NEVER be on the look out for mom in a public place - especially the mall! I don't know if my first instinct would have been to kick... but I sure would have screamed. Did the mother get mad at you?? cause I would have kicked her too for being a bad parent.
I_Am_The_Edge 4
Ehm, wouldn't a four year old's face look MUCH different than a man's? Damn you're violent
noncom 12
#82 Look it is called instinct. Here let me cut it down at you, in gym class, where you most likely played dodgeball, you see a ball flying for your face. What do you do? That's easy. You duck. And do you know why? Because it is in the human nature to protect itself. And you feel even more threatened if you are naked.