Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
abclalala123 0
hah this almost happened to me only the kid was around 6 and was looking on purpose
Trollinggx3 0
YDI Child abuser.
genius_man16 1
she never said how hard the kick was. For all we know it was just a light jab.
Aniland 2
XD Good
itswhateverr9 0
Remember kids. Look before you kick.
iBimmer 0
YDI for buying new clothes.
curryndricegirll 0
i don't understand all the people saying that someone should've been watching the kid. his mother was obviously in the dressing room too...how is she supposed to watch him? take him in there and let him have a messed up childhood? and seriously, have NONE of you ever gotten lost in a big department store or something as a kid? oh, and #25, child abuse? really? give me a break. and it doesn't really matter how hard the kick was...nobody wants it in the face. OP, it's not your fault. but god i'd feel awful after that. i hope you hid from his mother.
Sawadee 0
I disagree..........OP should call the security instead of kicking someone in his face. YDI for using your leg instead of your brain to solve problem in your life.
LyssWA 0
Um.... YES. There is nothing wrong with a young child seeing a parent change clothes. Americans are just too ******* repressed. "z0mg, a nipple!" It's not like we don't all have them. Who cares? Anyhow, a four-year-old will likely not even remember such a mundane event as being in the changing room with his mother, let alone be scarred by it. Far better alternative than the mother letting the kid run around unsupervised where he could get hurt. Or worse.
av232 0
But it's looking that got someone kicked ^.^
failboatrollover 1
LOL!!
lolbulla 0
wow asshole, you couldnt distinguish a 4 year old face? that boy should've written the fml, not you.
kpanchal 0
You retarded bitch.
jbo300 0
kid = pwned
DangerousBabee 0
"Today i was in the store looking for my mom. I was cheking under teh changing room doors to see if she was in there. Suddenly, some bitch kicked me in the face. FML"
anonnie 0
out of instinct, i don't think i would kick the person. i think i'd instinctively cover myself up before kicking or yelling or anything else.
elspicytaco 0
#102- I see where you're coming from, and no it is not child abuse, but the kid could have knocked first. At 4 years of age, the kid should have known better than peeking under dressing rooms. Seriously *_*
xxXChiiXxx 2
"Americans are just too ******* repressed. "z0mg, a nipple!" It's not like we don't all have them. Who cares?" ... (-.-;) (stereotype? yes.) I've been into dressing rooms so many times, I don't know how many, and ALL the mothers take their small children in with them when they're changing. Don't assume all Americans are prude because of ONE FML STORY.
ryan100 0
**** you
bernk 0
Couldn't agree more. I've been living in Europe for the past 3 years and it has made me realize just to what crazy extent Americans and Canadians are repressed. Everything makes you a sexual predator, child molester, or gay. Here it's not uncommon to see people changing at the beach or an outdoor public pool. Nobody cares! I love North America, but damn it's got some ******* growing up to do.
KitKhatu 0
she didnt even know that it was the kid. now, you can never relax while youre changing. boy: mommy? is that you? -peeks- OWW.
mrfreak219 3
#100 that has got to be the worst reason to give a YDI. everyone buys new clothes
tikimuppet 11
People on this site just don't seem to get sarcasm. It's quite funny seeing the stupid responses and then seeing the idiots who take them seriously XD
bishoprsv2 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha........HA!
cljc 1
i'd probly do the same.
lolbulla 0
ok, but you couldn't just cover yourself with the clothes and yell at the face or something?
stone_light 0
well next time the kid will just ask "Mom, where are you?"
nordies4 0
if it means anything I would of done the same thing
vollyball921 0
I would have kicked too but I would LOOK first lol
varkey 7
#8 that's hard to believe... a little 6 year old pervert? and... look first, kick later
CandyCanenomer 4
the zomg part made me laughxD But, that's how we are... The boys are really like that. Boy: "Hehe! Girls have a vay-vay!" Me: "And you came out of one!" Boy: DX
Sam_13161821 0
stupid bitches need to take care of their freaking kids.
bryttkneee 0
well atleast that loose tooth is taken care of now.
canadaxkid 0
I don't blame the OP at all.
pjordanw 9
Lol light jab...to the face.
Fml37 0
Ahahaa I could so picture that. Lmao.
Duckasaurus 0
"Today, I lost my mommy. I looked underneath a door to see if she was there. The lady saw me and kicked me in the face. It wasn't my mommy. FML" That's just terrible. FYL, because we all know no one can control instinct. Well, from the comments and the FYL/YDI ratio, I guess about 1/8 of us don't know we can't control instinct.
animalover721 3
Hahahahaha that is such a jerk move, but u gotta admit it's pretty hilarious if u think about it!
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Me too. XD The people bitching against the OP just don't realize that the kid was lucky he ended up just getting kicked in the face. First, he learned a valuable life lessong: Knock and call "Mom?" instead of peeping like a moron. And secondly, he just got kicked in the face: If he'd been wandering farther in the mall, he could have gotten snatched by a pervert, and then it's a billion times worse than being kicked in the face. The asshole here is the mom, who left her kid alone and went to try on clothes, when she should have taken him with her.
nickiforever21 0
Well if he knocked and said Mom there could've been another mom there.
lazrus_fml 2
I would like to peek at you under the door, tikimuppet!
zee209 0
I wouldn't say I could really blame you though. You didn't know who was peeking, and kicked out of instinct so they wouldn't see you.
xJChristine 16
I agree, I wouldn't like it either if I saw someone peeking, no matter how old he/she is. It wasn't the kids fault either but I can totally understand the situation. It was just bad luck!
xHaniffax 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
:O That poor poor child! Why would you kick out of instinct?!
bohemond_fml 0
Because she doesn't appreciate being the object of interest for what is most likely a peeping tom?
xHaniffax 0
Well, then her instinct isn't very reliable.
elfako 0
What are you talking about? Her instinct worked perfectly.
xHaniffax 0
instinct is your reaction to things? She didn't react very well because it was actually a little child she kicked under the door and not a peeping tom which is what she thought - so that's a fail. Why would a 4 year old want to see naked women?
ananamoose 0
touche, from dictionary.com: 1. an inborn pattern of activity or tendency to action common to a given biological species. 2. a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency. 3. a natural aptitude or gift: an instinct for making money. 4. natural intuitive power. Therefore she didn't mean to react like that it was an instinct and with someone looking at you naked its normal to feel threatened, therefore kicking little kids in the face
realggirl 0
I know! Poor him. :(
bored690 0
As if a 4 year olds face looks like a old perverts face!
kalvinx12 0
fag
kalvinx12 0
fag
iFlipYouOff 2
Anyone would!
bizarre_ftw 22
264 - as if she had time to check!
Tristian9099 8
you're a ******* idiot
murderofcrows 0
I would have done the same thing. Not ur fault
untoldfame 3
yeeesh. you awful, awful person :)
orangef1zz 0
Your instinct is bitchy.
teehee520 0
Win.
Fml37 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When I moderated this it said 4 year old Asian kid. That would have been much funnier.
curryndricegirll 0
wtf? #53, I hope you're beaten up by an asian kid
jenn1022 0
was that supposed to be funny? because it wasn't it was just horrible. some asian person is going to punch you in the face someday
McBee 0
You are an ass!!!! and Funnier is not even a word! Dumbass!!
life_wtf 0
fun·ny (fŭn'ē) adj. fun·ni·er, fun·ni·est Causing laughter or amusement. Intended or designed to amuse. Strangely or suspiciously odd; curious. Tricky or deceitful. Oops. I guess you were wrong; funnier IS a word. Google is your friend.
LegitimateSalmon 12
The kid looked Asian afterwards because of how hard she kicked him
rafaelaugusto94 0
it wasnt your fault just instincts