Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
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Top comments
Moota 9
Cool dad.
jonnyblackless 6
UR DADS THE BEST XD
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Comments (134)
Moota 9
Cool dad.
derper71 3
Wow, ur dad is a f'in boss
fanceh 10
I would have totally screamed "pedophile" and ran away.
SnowFlakeInAK 7
That's hilarious!! At least your dad has a sense of humor. My family is full of pranksters too,always good for a laugh or 10 :D
DropTheDaggerxx 31
I agree. You have a dad with a killer sense of humor. Be grateful! Kids at school will joke around (I would about it, too, if you were my friend) but anyone who really believes it is a moron and their opinion/ridicule is invalid. Neither an FYL or a YDI.
fr33m3xican 0
I think your lucky xD that your not a guy walking home with chicks an your mom pulls over an says that -.- I'm sooo getting thumbs down for this lol thumbs up everyone
Keyman1212 14
Pretty sure that even if people at school talk about this event, they'll just be talking about how your dad kicks ass and takes ******* names.
EvilPotato 15
It took you that long to figure that out OP?
ArentICute 0
I didnt really get this FML, can someone please explain it to me?
dre_bro11 12
90, I don't think that it's possible to simplify it any more.
sheisdagirl 0
her dad was lik makin a joke bout havin sex with her so she took the money but then didn't realize what her dad had did until she got into the car
Keyman1212 14
96- you ACTUALLY, some how, just made the FML more confusing.
dre_bro11 12
96, no. Put it this way. OP's dad made it look like OP was a prostitute in front of her male friends.
Shleebs 12
OP is a chick. Her dad pulled up to her as she was walking with friends. He handed her money and said "Get in, baby." It's implied that OP's friends don't know her dad and they will assume she prostitutes herself.
Eaglestrike117 29
Your dad is awesome.
Mordakai420 6
The notorious trolldad strikes again!
AnimeRules1125 24
90 The quote "Get in baby" and giving her some money was referring to her being a prostitute.
jonnyblackless 6
UR DADS THE BEST XD
DarkHelmet 10
Right! Your Dad's awesome!
Madison88888888 5
I agree!!
oxemilyxo 5
Do you get to keep the money?
Lostinspacealone 0
Tell you friends business first gotta go
silvereye12 7
Haha YDI for not thinking it though.
MusicXisXii 0
*through.
crinx034 0
That, my friend, is probably the most cute kitty pic I've seen in forever! Thumbs up for your kitty pic!! *applauds you*
yadisingh 5
Charlie Sheen has a daughter?
davidg6 3
Yes
alexchiltonLC 7
He has 2...
meliesFML 0
that's kinda gross . you should of replied "VERY FUNNY DADDDDD" to play it off
djack0113 0
No, she definatly should have asked for more
Freeze_fml 17
Doesn't really work with the alternate definition of daddy.
claiiire_fml 17
Your dad's a creep...
SteveTheJanitor 6
Your dads a creep
castrosabeast 7
BOTH OF YOUR DAD'S ARE CREEPS!
SteveTheJanitor 6
I don't have a dad so awkward for you...
castrosabeast 7
Everyone has a dad!
Randuhh_17 4
Nooooo, everyone has a sperm donor. It takes alot more to being a dad, than just donating your stuff.
flockz 20
my pet rock doesn't....
DKjazz 20
Off topic, did you know sperm banks no longer accept ginger applicants? Apparently the demand is too low. No joke, I'm serious.
lianabanana 18
that's sad..
MegaTroller_fml 5
Wincest.
TheCylonmaster 3
Money makes you do stupid things
every1luvsboners 11
He probably didn't even know that it was you until you jumped into the car. You screwed up his night of picking up cheap ******, smoking crack, partaking in anal excursions and a meat marinating party in a sleazy hotel. Damn you. Well played, dad.
Leadamp 7
You're back!!
coltsrock37 15
Zing!