Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jessthebest3 0
That's hot.
ILoveEggnog 7
I don't understand the appeal of anal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (293)
kittykathavefun 10
awkward?
yumyumnom3 0
I wrote this! it was when I wad checking in at ohare. I just turned and walked to security really fast!
meintx 9
Lol, that's freaky, but you probably made his day lol. You just know he's thinking you love it lol. And that sucks.
I_only_say_LOL 6
LOL
haileebug7 0
haha that really stinks
DrewsFML 8
Maybe he thought he recognized you from behind.
mgon93 0
LOL sounds like a good time
patrickalamo 48
what ever happened to truth in advertising.
FlashBurn 13
The "Smile and Nod" technique is usually not a good one to use in many situations. Imagine if you did that while talking to him because you didn't hear what he said and wound up agreeing to take it in the ass from him. What then?
sseberly 11
Man, I would probably laugh and that'd be considered a smile. Damnit.....
mikagesouji 0
I love how everyone assumes he's old. So, young guys can't be creepy, is that it? OP said he was a creepy man, but did not specify his age. For all we know, he could have been a creepy guy in his mid-20s, and there are a lot of those.