Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
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Top comments
jessthebest3 0
That's hot.
ILoveEggnog 7
I don't understand the appeal of anal.
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Comments (293)
jessthebest3 0
That's hot.
xlord 27
I also get turned on when creepy old guys wear anal shirts and smile at random girls (sarcasm btw)
gunmania0 12
That's not creepy!
YourEvilHero 12
he'd be lucky to get hard enough to give it in the ass.
number0 8
I bet you were like "What what? In the butt!"
kasumirock 13
They sell that shirt at Spencer's!!!
smellymellyy 7
right. I am buying one of those, now
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I don't get the obsession with anal. From what I've heard there's nothing wrong with good ol' vaginas :D
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I don't get the obsession with anal. From what I've heard there's nothing wrong with good ol' vaginas :D
TN9R 1
theres no possible way of getting pregnant
U_Go_Boom 0
61- from what you've heard? You should know from experience at that age.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
77, at seventeen there should be no obligation for me to have sex, though I gladly would if given the opportunity. I may be a loser but there's nothing wrong with holding onto virginity by choice.
CattyPurry 0
you should have done the booty shake and been like "that's what you're missing out on" and walk away with the rest of your dignity. (:
Taurusbaybe 8
I'm with you on that one 87! Atta boy!
TheHoboWerewolf 0
I said what what in the butt! XD
seanders 10
Don't worry 87, I've been active for years and don't get the obsession. I think it's disgusting and have never felt the temptation to rude the Hershey Highway. I figure if you're gonna do someone in the ass, you might as well be gay and **** a guy.
seanders 10
Ride**
aKaClickZ 4
a guys ass is a lot different than a girls ass
enonymous 9
It's ok 87 I'm here now. You don't need to keep saving yourself for me
pertained 12
Did you know that religiously, anal is a moral sin?
slynoble32 11
#61 is spider-man!!!!!!!!!
Soloman212 28
Did you know that morally, anal is a religious sin? Wait-what?
ryan41297 0
87 Yeah her choice maybe
hahayousucks 3
lmao I have that shirt. got it at spencers
Thatcow 5
213- After looking at your picture of a person in the special olympics, it reminds me of when I bet on people winning the relay races at the special olympics... I am a bad person
Ranimal 12
My ex loved it. Like orgasmic love it.
schwalballz 0
how would you know good sir?
ItsTheKing 10
Someone get me that shirt pronto! I wanna see how many people smile and then are going to be all like: "what does that shirt say?Smile if you take it- ****."
MsRandomKatie 0
Aha did you continue smiling? ;)
tsim_fml 0
Hmmmm... I smiled and he had a disgusted look on his face. I dont understand why, I was just trying to be nice.
rlfender 3
that's so messed up
adavis24 0
I'm have a shirt where the writing is at a angle, and it days "if you turn your head to read this you owe me a *******" haha I went to a party and got 5 bj's that night!
toastyjustice 5
***theoretical bj's
Absurd101 0
109 requires shirts to recieve ********.
rallets 23
he also didnt specify whether it was from a man or woman either
CryMoreFMLs 15
Oooh burned by rallets bro. Nothing more needs to be said.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
you can post that to mylifeisbro.com ^_^
rallets 23
lmfio imadbroop?
rallets 23
weeble weeble woomble wazzahhh whrrrsshhhh o.o
rallets 23
boom shaka laka boi-oi-oing
rallets 23
hai mommy :)
rallets 23
uhh... ok?
rallets 23
you love me?
rallets 23
even i think you tried too hard with that one :P
IceyJustin 1
Rallets
kyleh34 5
I love this guy!
yowassup44 0
I would ! hahaha
frisko89 0
Lol at all you people
Liamj774 36
Of course, my young Sasquatch
ILoveEggnog 7
I don't understand the appeal of anal.
techan9na 0
its awesome lol
Jacobt24 19
It provides as fertilizer to make the guy's penis grow.
austinkiser 3
it's not how it looks, it's how it feels
itaimumwiro 8
it's both
RyNo24 4
It's fun watching girls take it.
ygdrassil 17
Anal sex is the shittiest sex you can have I mean, what kind of asshole wants to do anal?
Jaxx66 21
me either. it's painful and not fun.
CrazyGirl445 4
I don't either. I'm not a dog.
hilariexcore 0
After the initial pain of getting it in, it feels amazing.
RyNo24 4
^^ what he said.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Well if you think about it, why is anything appealing? Do it in the ass? Well that's where shit comes out. Do vaginal? Well that's where blood and urine come put. *******? Well your mouth holds lots of bacterias and she's getting all her saliva all over the place. And why are boobs so great? They're just sacks of fat with a nipple. Don't question it, just love it :D
Kryson53 0
It's literally the shittiest kind of sex you can have
mbishop94479 4
Urine doesn't come out of the ******
free2speak 14
nobody said it so I will say it: 64, I see what you did there. ;)
free2speak 14
133, yes it does. Female urethra opens into the ******. I think what you're thinking of is uterus. That's where blood comes from but ultimately they both exit through the ******.
sydney_herbach 3
we have three holes dumbass and you are not ******* us in the pisser
commietaco 0
that would probably hurt more than anal. clit sex is the best!
thecarldeep 8
Thank god someone else knows that too.
SpicyDuck 22
133, I really hope you're not a girl. I can 100% guarantee urine does not come out of your vaginal opening. Do a little research, I'll get you started. http://www.toledoplasticsurgery.com/img/brochures/labia_diagram2.gif
SpicyDuck 22
Sorry I meant 136!!!
ihaspanda 0
96 I totally agree :)
TypicuL 0
Amen.
Seraphik 0
136 - you, sir, are a moron. Go google "******."
Newboyz00185 0
I need this shirt
Mimi12589_fml 10
yeah except urine doesn't come out of ******..
pwincessa23 1
and boobs are not just sacks of fat with a nipple, dumbass
organicmtdew 0
As a hetero male, it's three things: degradation Marco polo pro-life/anti-abortion (not religious reasons, tho). Most guys agree with the first two. also, I am gonna make that shirt.
bribri360 0
it feels good lol
2gether4ever 0
lmfao, punny . (;
Three4Ten 10
Urine doesn't come out of the ******, it comes out of the urethra
swimchick7 1
You are so stupid. URINE DOESN'T COME OUT OF THE ******. It comes out of a smaller hole in front of it! And breasts aren't sacks of fat, they contain milk and vitamins/minerals!
Jacobt24 19
When you saw him as a creepy old man o start with, why did you smile back?
xlord 27
Maybe OP wanted some free candy?
Jacobt24 19
or free hugs
chimcharx3 15
Spooning
mrfunbun01 1
it's polite
Marcel4_fml 3
well, do u like it in the ass?
turkishjew 0
mystery of life
Slipknot666Maggo 0
everyone secretly does
LoveLife293 2
SUPERMAN.
jesusSGV626 0
Aha yeee(; That foo is a thug;P Lmao Win!
absolutegrrr 7
pardon?
xlord 27
I think she does the same thing as Charlie sheen seeing how she said win(ning)
commietaco 0
ye dawg I know what you be spittin, bro. but seriously, start talking like a literate person.
Ivanmobile69 6
i couldnt agree more
johnpaul43 0
wow you're a moron
tacovender 7
Anyone want to translate?
free2speak 14
128, ask a ribosome.
zachthegaut 10
I think it's trying to communicate
BeatlesObsessed 12
Did you wink back?
mackop 0
;)
CattyPurry 0
;))
adavis24 0
;)))
Anglar 5
;))))
PawsUp_fml 2
*wink wink*
Cryingraven 1
;)))
ShawnzieNstuff 6
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
slimjadee8080 0
;););););)
missyj0 12
;))))
missyj0 12
Double chins ^
narcosoldier 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that some funny shit I need me one of those shirts
BeautifulDemonKP 4
What what in the butt lol FYL OP
Captain0bv10us 0
Haha. This is your moment to powerwalk away.