Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
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Top comments
Senseless_487 29
It sounds like that wasn't the only tip he wanted to give you.
unidentifieduser 23
At least you got a tip! Right..?
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Comments (100)
drizzy11 18
Oh well
kjack49044 18
I think it's better to say "Look at the bright side, you got paid" rather than "Oh well"
chutney_02 22
#1 What a deep and insightful comment. It must've taken you so long to think of it so how on earth did you manage to nab the first comment??? (Yes, I'm being sarcastic)
zBLAKEz 23
Really? That was sarcasm? It was quite hard to tell.
Rainhawk94 27
#21 kinda being a bitch
JBChristian 47
Kinda getting tired of people bashing first commenters even if the comment was crappy. That was insightful!!! :D... D: Rather not hear it.
HeyTherexxx 21
21- This is not a popularity, cleverness, or any other type of contest. However, if there was a "bitch" contest, I feel you'd win today's prize. It is a first comment, not a Nobel Peace prize; don't get your panties in a twist.
HeyTherexxx 21
Bitch is a strong word, but I couldn't think of a synonym for it.
Demig0d6 14
This is gonna be on my bucket list if u know what I mean
Neko9000 11
36 And you stand on what justification to say that? She is just saying something that was going to be said eventually besides 1 did put a dumb comment but it was still funny
DJSKAMPER 4
money is money :p
Senseless_487 29
It sounds like that wasn't the only tip he wanted to give you.
lord_meloetta 20
I will never stop laughing at your comment. Thank you sir.
Roskie 16
Aren't you worried that might damage your lungs?
EphMi 5
You must be confused with smoking. Laughter is commonly known as the best medicine.
badluckalex 23
it also sounds like op just let the guys hand slowly caress them.... if his hand was on you for 3, 4, or even 5 seconds you can move away or say something, dont just stand there quietly while they creepily feel you up
tehandyz 7
Don't mean to get all technical here, but I think this would trigger a panic response, resulting in "fight, flight, or freeze". Freeze is a very common response.
aruam365 24
Not to get all technical but fight-or-flight is a response from the sympathetic nervous system and there's no "freeze" category it just falls within fight-or-flight. Trust me.
FutueMeamVitam 24
#53: But the dose makes the poison, as they* say. Overdose, and it could be bad news. * Paracselsus, in particular. Yes, I've footnoted an FML comment. What's wrong with me?
inn0centaphid 19
Pedos these days
RedPillSucks 33
He's not a pedo since OP is clearly over age. Now he may be a pervert or a creep, but definitely not a pedo (in that instance).
tanekdrachonae 19
She bags groceries. Not too far fetched to think she may be underage.
DraconicFeline 31
Even if she's only 16, she's still sexually mature. So I wouldn't call the guy a pedophile in this case even if she's technically underage. (Though as 35 says, pervert still applies perfectly)
FucYoCouch 13
#63, the guy is not a pedophile. He is a Hebephile. But since most people generalize the word "Pedo" for attraction towards anyone underaged, either term is accepted for kids 11-17 year olds (pubescent kids). IF Op is underaged( I know plenty of people who are of age who are baggers to pay for college and such) the guy is sick for acting out his desires. Even if Op were of age, he had no right to touch Op. You do not have to be sexually harassed for a tip, Op. If he is a regular customer, report him the next time that you come across him.
unidentifieduser 23
At least you got a tip! Right..?
kaablam 17
Right! I hit both buttons, because you deserve it! In the good way. :)
shine999 12
Awkward!!!
alexcr344 7
Jeepers, creepers!
STOspartan 12
Are you male or female? Clearly it's creepy, but it could be two different levels of creepy depending on your gender...
PeartOfNeils 18
It shows gender in the top left corner.
xNephilim 19
It's stupid logic, but... As a girl, a guy hitting on you is "normal". The fact that he's old and the way he did it makes it creepy. As a guy, a guy hitting on you is "abnormal". So on top of it being creepy cause it's "abnormal", it's even more creepy because of the age and the way it was done. To me, it's just as freaking creepy either way but I'm guessing that's the logic behind that statement.
EphMi 5
if that's the logic behind that statement, then which part of it is stupid?
asherm 15
OP is female, and it's very creepy and inappropriate that he groped her.
SpamPam 18
I get what you're saying but calling straight sexual harassment "normal" cause it's straight (even though you admit it's creepy) kinda makes me want to vomit. Anyone assaulting anyone I would think is comparable.
SpamPam 18
Like as a straight person I would feel just as violated if someone of my own gender did that to me as some old man. The way people seem to be viewing it is whether or not you would be attracted to the person (hence sexual orientation) but just cause someone is straight doesn't mean they would bang anyone of the opposite gender. Also I feel uncomfortable calling people with sexual orientations other than "straight" as "abnormal"
communisttaco 16
#45 it's not abnormal for homosexual men to hit in each other. People really should stop speaking in generalities
DarkArbiter5555 10
Whats ur gender?
Welshite 40
It is specified as female.
JBChristian 47
Your*. Sorry, ur comment kinda made my leg itch.
chutney_02 22
Typical FML elderly!
TheAbstract 15
FMLderly?
jsp16 24
Is his name Herbert? And does he happen to have newspapers?
ScottEdwards 5
and popsicles down in the freezer
olpally 33
But Herbert likes little boys! Not girls! Lol.
jsp16 24
Know this from experience?
ian3866 12
68 -obviously you don't watch family guy...