Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went to the cinema. The lady at the reception gave me my ticket and wished me a good screening. My reply? "Thanks, you too." FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML
Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CobraLazerFace 21
Did he happen to have a bitchin' stache and sunglasses on?
WCARlover 35
So, when's the wedding?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
CobraLazerFace 21
Did he happen to have a bitchin' stache and sunglasses on?
TheDrifter 24
Freddy Mercury style.
zBLAKEz 23
Am I the only one curious as to what being from the south has to do with saying thank you? I'm from the north-west and I say thank you for everything, even stuff that I shouldn't, like this.
ywolfgl 21
He was making a mockery of the whole scene
Stazza11 27
Clench those cheeks! Don't let him invade your special place haha.
killinpoptarts 9
#37. It's nothing against people from other places but the majority of people I know from anywhere but the south are complete a holes. However being a military brat I know there are a few exceptions but in the south I found that most people from there are small town people who wave at everyone, smile and wave when they drive past, and say please and thank you to almost everything. However even in the best places you still have those a holes that have no respect for anyone. Just thought I might try and clear that up. And tell your parents or whoever raised you I said thanks for doing a good job of teaching manners to you. It's a rare sight these days.
JACKxRAWR 22
#37, I believe it's "Southern Hospitality".
kingdomgirl94 29
Being from Canada, I must have a whole different definition of what constitutes as polite and kind... cause all those anti- homosexual laws seem fairly inhospitable to me...
Bentonic 11
@56 I'm quite ashamed of my home state (Texas) for exactly that reason. My grandparents tried to raise me to believe that homosexuality was wrong, and a sin. Thankfully, my parents didn't have the same mindset.
kaablam 17
I'm quite unashamed of my home state(also Texas) because I didn't make the laws! How can you be ashamed of that? You should only be ashamed of your own actions, really.
Thejackel79 9
Because the state represents him and every other person in the state. Laws likr that make everyone look bad.
donutcallmethat 16
Southern culture tends to be very formal, much more formal than other parts of the country. Big companies love to put their call centers in the south for this reason. I am from the south and also have a hard time not thanking people, and I have to wave back when someone waves at me, even if I have no idea who they are.
maskedman 9
So romantic.
shaww 28
Still a better love story than Twilight
Obacooba 14
Anything is a better love story than twilight
WCARlover 35
So, when's the wedding?
warsun 27
Next week
TehAnderz 11
In two cheeks.
Steve95401 49
Thank you sir, may I have another?
PenguinBitch 44
Is that his taser, or is he just happy to pat you?
badluckross 21
Hey, at least he was being polite..?
albinochipmunks 7
I think that's more on the edge of creepy.
illegalbeagle69 23
No.. I'd rather the guy who just felt me up be rude as hell than wink at me
ProctorKProducti 5
I'd rather he winked at me, more of a compliment plus I hate assholes
jezmonster7 7
Gross, I hope you had a good flight anyways OP!
ericb982 8
Nobody can have a good flight after that.
TXFernwoods 26
I could *wink, wink*
junkman6 22
Electric six just popped into my head. -_-'
HelloooooNurse 20
"I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar...."
aire101 16
Danger! Danger! High Voltage! When we touch, when we kiss!
DeeDeeJay 15
It doesn't sound like you were 'randomly selected'
PuggieKid 22
Yea... Like he totally 'checked her' out...
parism143 28
checked him* out
Jakob2255 12
get it right op is a guy.
kewpiesuicide 29
This totally happened to me with a butch security guard! My girlfriend was pissed lol
ProctorKProducti 5
More like "romantically selected" :D
0ss 12
He must of thought your package was suspicious.
little_one 20
He seemed pretty willing to handle your package. ;)