Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
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Top comments
jessthebest3 0
That's hot.
ILoveEggnog 7
I don't understand the appeal of anal.
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Comments (293)
Parazad 16
This would be funnier if the OP was a guy.
x_messyjessy_x 0
Lol
x_messyjessy_x 0
When I read this thought of the creepy smiling guy on YouTube lol
churchic 5
You and me both
iheartsthamanga 7
Lol yea from the moment you saw he was creepy you should of looked away lol
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
Prove him wrong.
DjeePee 25
Never smile to creepy men, OP. Ignore them, works the best.
mchakkiwala 0
no offense ma'am but you look creepy in that mask too
Molord1 0
32- just don't make eye contact
slushpup9696 12
I like the mask, it looks like mystery.
Captain0bv10us 0
Well it didn't say the gender, but when I first read the FML, I pictured it as a guy
Coulter123 5
you smile at old men?
notsooperfect 0
That man is a rapist and is thinking 'up the ass it shall be'
bananaburger 0
And what does winking mean?
xlord 27
It's like winking with one eye.
sourspraykay 8
I prefer winking with both eyes.
pertained 12
My post got deleted because I mentioned religion?
Zaffro 8
So do you?
Petronix 5
Where on earth did he get a shirt like that...
TheAnalPickle 13
spencers...
Petronix 5
Ah yes... Spencers. The store where anything goes..
zukinihudini 0
Haha of course the Anal Pickel guy would know
mrsvickybear 9
LMAO spencers where they sell **** popsss