Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML
Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML
Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML
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Top comments
littlexlion 4
It's because you put your rape face on.
fireandice27 0
Haha who calls security for receiving seedy looks? Maybe it's better that it didn't go anywhere... she sounds slightly crazy. Like the sort of person who would overreact over every little detail, like obsessing over the 1ms time delay in you saying "no, of course those pants don't make you look fat!" It's all for the best....
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Comments (37)
musicislife1995_fml 0
didn't your mother ever tell you NOT to smile! :O ;)
MacOSXpert 7
She's probably had some traumatic experiences in her life, don't feel bad, it's not your fault.
popoman 0
Yeah, it's not your fault. It's overreacting for calling security, just because of a few seconds of weirdness due to a creepy smile. Slap her; then security is justified.
infantry831 0
kick rocks kid
Malinkrot 3
If you were a good looking guy, I'm sure she wouldn't have cared...hit on a fat girl instead, their standards are lower
catatonicsleep 17
no they're not
expen_dable 0
catonicsleep is so fat that she has smaller fat women orbiting around her
catatonicsleep 17
yep, pretty much, I'm a size 12/14 (UK), so horribly huge and grotesque!!!!
Mervyn 0
@ 14 not as bad as me. I'm so fat and ugly I should have no standards... :*(
catatonicsleep 17
everyone should have standards no matter what size you are.
expen_dable 0
Pendatic please stop stalking me. you literally reply to every comment I make, at first it was annoying and now its just creepy. I really don't want to be skinned alive and made into a woman suit or whatever you are trying to do. thank you.
fudrick 0
You're just such a shitty commenter that it's pretty tough to ignore you.
Malinkrot 3
"Expen_dable rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again..." Cue Pendatic doing the Buffalo Bill dance...
dudeitsdanny 10
Malinkrot is a hero.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
expend_able is a hero :D
Firesprite2009 0
expen_dable, such a pity you have no self esteem, you have to pick on others to get your satisfactory kicks out of life. Same with you, Malinkrot. If anything, men have lower standards, seeing as the average man's mind revolves around sex, drink, food and occasionally work. 'Fat girls', have standards, no matter what you say. You seem to be confusing them with the more commonly known status; '*****'.
Mustardnight 3
Firesprite go home...
Firesprite2009 0
Bite me. :]
auds23 0
I don't understand how some people can think that b/c a person weighs more means they're retarded, ugly, have low standards, can't get guys/girls, etc. but I guess I'm just to stupid to fathom the insanely intelligent thoughts you have. And don't waste you're time with the whole "oh you're just fat and ugly". Well no. I'm not
Firesprite2009 0
:D Finally, someone else who speaks sense.
lovingamylea 0
@catatonicsleep isn't 12/14 considered an size M/L? coz size M is 10-12. and you know, medium would generally be considered the average, based on the mean of people. that's why its the mid-point. I wouldn't consider that "horribly huge and grotesque". But then again it depends on your height. Check your BMI [divide your weight in kg by your (height in metres, squared)] -if it's over 17 and under 25 (border for underweight/overweight), you're fine :) if it's not, try being conscious of what you're eating and add a little more physical activity into your routine. Either way, you should have a little bit more confidence in your self-image! If you go around telling people you're enormous because you genuinely have low self-image, you're putting the idea into people's heads, and people will start to view you as "enormous". If you're just going around telling people that so they'll say "NOOOO you're not!" and feed your ego, then you're an idiot. Hope you're the former! Cheers :)
slushpup9696 12
Ooh, all the famous commenters are gathering! MercyFML, Pendantic, even the legendary Dudeitsdanny! Perdix! Freeze! Come and post amusing comments! We need you!
migueljm5 18
I wanted to down vote this but it is unfortunately true. Sorry OP FYL
littlexlion 4
It's because you put your rape face on.
BangOut 2
but rape face is FTW. must be something else
DutchWaiterGuy 8
#10 win xD
hXcsoccerplaya 0
yes they are #4. go die. and OP, I'm sorry, maybe she was just looking around? if I'm bored I'll do that too.
greenltrn2003 0
grinch smile >:-)
fireandice27 0
Haha who calls security for receiving seedy looks? Maybe it's better that it didn't go anywhere... she sounds slightly crazy. Like the sort of person who would overreact over every little detail, like obsessing over the 1ms time delay in you saying "no, of course those pants don't make you look fat!" It's all for the best....
shockcrow 0
how creepy, lol sorry OP, but it sounds funny. She sounds quite stupid though
bailo 0
haha. but that girl overreacted x 1000
schildkeatzchen 0
learn how to smile