Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
doomking10 0
Here's a tip: Stop being stupid.
chocolaterabbit 0
how else was he meant to show you that your fly was down? you should've tried to understand what he was doing before you call him lewd.
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Comments (43)
chocolaterabbit 0
how else was he meant to show you that your fly was down? you should've tried to understand what he was doing before you call him lewd.
pigscantswim 0
by saying so discreetly?
doomking10 0
Here's a tip: Stop being stupid.
fml__love 0
Haha YDI, think things through first.
Lonely_Lez 0
From the username I think OP is female.
yourmysunshine 0
it does say jennygrace... i'm sure it's a girl,
kyle_kbo20 0
so what girls have flys on there pants too.
kaysi_28 0
girls wear jeans ya know.. and shorts.. and tons of other pants that require zippers
Phallus_fml 0
Give him a head, stupid.
soulfhood24 0
this is retarded
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
YDI it for being an ignorant asshole. Seriously, what does everybody expect that everything is some sort of sick gesture? I mean, why would an airport security guard do that without having good intentions?
Finnboghi 0
Indeed. Don't be so full of yourself and you may notice that the world doesn't really care about you. Not everything anyone does symbolizes that they want to do something sexual with you.
ddlovatolover 23
Two girls working in airport security once had a male celebrity walk through the machine that sees you nude, printed the picture and asked him to autograph it. You never know. (They were charged since the incident, btw.)
Mnemic 6
YDI for getting outraged that quick instead of using your common sense.