Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Arcterion 0
Dump her ass. Clearly she does not care about you.
UpYourself 0
Can anybody say......threesome
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (206)
artssfreak 0
eh she's probly not even bi. she's doing it to seem more attractive for you. if not, I would dump her cuz she should only be dating you.
WWJC 0
do evry1 a favor n off urself
FMLWarfare 0
Dude I live in NC :D lol Only Guido here..
califormula 0
That should signal a golden opportunity for you.
broderickcj 4
it's a joke you dumb ass
Ilovequintin 2
That's not cool
locketine 0
I'm pretty sure your gf set that up so that you would dump her for it. Waitresses don't just walk up to strangers and ask them out.
beaglegun2009 4
I dont support you its against the bible
SpizzySpose_fml 0
I have a bisexual girlfriend aswell. It's awesome! ^.^
TheresNoEffingwa 7
...u may be the luckiest man alive