Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML
Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML
Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OrySoma 11
ya know maybe dont be a scum bag
juggalo2 22
A unique hair color might be a sign that she is down for whatever. I hope she is bi and joins you and your girlfriend for a threesome. Then they both dump you at the climax, and you can enjoy your unique blue balls. You totally would deserve it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
juggalo2 22
A unique hair color might be a sign that she is down for whatever. I hope she is bi and joins you and your girlfriend for a threesome. Then they both dump you at the climax, and you can enjoy your unique blue balls. You totally would deserve it.
OrySoma 11
thats assuming he could even man up and get them both to climax unlikely
giraffe_poop 8
both of these answers 😆😆😆
FireMars 14
Why the hell are you getting someone's number, when you have a gf? I hope she finds out and dumps you YDI
rainbowdonnareed 18
If I was your waitress I'd flirt with you and say OMG my morning job where are we going on our date? Is this your sister!"
OrySoma 11
ya know maybe dont be a scum bag
The_Cat_Scientist 7
You are a dick cheese
JasonThorn 23
Might as well toss that number in the trash, because now SHE has YOUR number.
tounces7 28
You're not a "Scoundrel", you're scourge to humanity. You're basically the reason people(women in your case) learn to distrust others in relationships. I honestly hope the heavens send a meteorite straight down at your head.
RichardPencil 32
I hope she served you the Blue Waffle. Do not search the internet for that one.
rainbowdonnareed 18
In the words of John Lennon "instant karma"
BurnInDemonFire 39
No sympathy for you, devil. You can just **** off.
Anzubar 5
so...3 way?