Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML
Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
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Top comments
Slide_fml 0
now, I found that entertaining because she's probably not dating the waiter, and he just saved her from being harassed by some random customer.
null_fml 11
Mildly embarrassing, but it's not like anything bad, really came of it. If it did, you'd have told us.
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Comments (62)
null_fml 11
Mildly embarrassing, but it's not like anything bad, really came of it. If it did, you'd have told us.
Poonheart 0
YDI for recognizing the other dude as "extremely fit" and "attractive"
Sun_Kissed18 25
Hey I recognize other women as "fit" and "beautiful" in an "I hate you" kind of way :) Edit: Not that I'm not fit or pretty >.>
thyaftermath 0
Yeah, I think you deserved it. Because you are never supposed to approach a girl like that. It might be okie, in a heat of the moment at a bar . But that only seems simple in the movies. Not in real life. You are supposed to introduce yourself, take the time to see if she likes you that way. Or if shes been checking you out all night or something , go and introduce yourself. BUT YOU NEVER just go , hey do you have a boyfriend?shes like; No, And then you are like WANnana Be MY GIrlfriennnd? AND shes like yeah! no . stupid stupid , you deserved it.
bridgetoparadise 0
Exactly this. Why would Do you have a boyfriend be your opening line???
CBR77 0
Strike! :)
LchTessMnstr 3
wow. Her man is EPIC WIN!
genius_man16 1
This is the stupidest FML ever. How is your life ******? Oh my god, one random girl whom you had never met before had a boyfriend and he happened to see you hitting on her. Dear god man! How will you recover? Seriously, just GTFO. And remember to cut down the river and not across it. Stupid emo ****.
Xader 0
^ This
trini_gal171 0
#17 lmao he might be gay.
MyNameIsViet 15
That's what I thought. Did he just say a guy was attractive. YDI
azk3000 9
Waitress - "cute" Waiter - "extremely fit" and "attractive" I think OP was hitting on the wrong one...
agsilver 14
The waiter is a man.... And so is the OP....
reneetlovesyou 30
Your point being what, #102?
HelenLFC 27
Agree with you. Fit used to mean sporty / toned, not sexy.
Slide_fml 0
now, I found that entertaining because she's probably not dating the waiter, and he just saved her from being harassed by some random customer.
applebranch 0
That was totally my first thought as well!
dredd_fml 1
Yeah, that's pretty common. It happens all the time at various restaurants I've worked at in the past.
chronicwanker 4
i agree, he probably said that to save his friend from sleazeballs like you
3rdDegree 0
And then had sex with her later of course
thyaftermath 0
YEAHHHAA 3 rd agree!! Later that night.. WOW.. you were so nice to help me out like that. guy: u wanna ride home babe?... later that night : the cars shaking oh yeahh babay oohhhhh.. yup
Witchcraft_fml 5
Agreed, #2. Especially if the first thing he's going to ask her is if she had a boyfriend. And worse, while she's working. "Hi, waitress who is trying to do her job who I'm bothering and who I've never met before, do you have a boyfriend?"
sobe23 0
That's what I thought too. I've used this same excuse a zillion times (it always works). And, why would you hit at someone at work? They could get in trouble for being unprofessional!
kukopia 0
More probable that the waiter WANTs to date her and was trying to get in good with her by ****-blocking OP.
XxSonyaBladexX 0
Ha! Funny!!
Microbiologist 0
Oh my god! Ten seconds of embarrassment! Get of my FML, that so totally isn't one.
Arcterion 0
Rofl. Talk about bad luck.
tany_fml 0
oops
allmidnighteyes 11
Hey man, the simple fact that there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't still score
redbluegreen 41
Life story?
allmidnighteyes 11
yeahhh gurrl. thuggin' ain't easy, but somebody gotta do it ya hurrd?
maddi27 0
is this fake? i didnt think employees were allowed to date.
allmidnighteyes 11
see #2
redbluegreen 41
Never, ever, say fake. Ever.
TJStarzZ 8
What about 'lying'? People on the Internet tend to do that a LOT these days.
arienh4 0
fake Not serious, I just felt challenged.
redbluegreen 41
Saying fake leads to banning/moderation.
posampo 0
FAKE!! lol lets see how long it takes before im modded
Gwythinn 0
Depends where you work. Some companies have a policy against it and some don't. I've dated a co-worker.
chronicwanker 4
it depends if your employer thinks it is within their right to control your personal life and what you do away from work where it has absolutely no bearing on the employer or the company. I think its ridiculous to ban employees from dating, as long as they keep it professional at work. and if thy dont, fire one of them ahahahahaha
sh0es 0
No, its probably real, and like somebody said before - he wasn't her boyfriend, he was just protecting her from assholes who think its okay to hit on their waitress.
maddi27 0
i really couldnt give a shit if im banned. it wont be the end of the world
scorpioserpent 1
I work with my boyfriend. He actually got me the job and everyone knows we're together. It just depends on the company.
HurriKaty 4
Oh no, your life is over. Seriously, some chick you don't know has a boyfriend? Get the **** over it. It's not like there's not millions of other girls out there. Wah wah wah.
afox2122 5
it's not the fact he didn't get the girl, it's just embarrassing that her boyfriend happen to be right next to her and heard him trying to hit on her.
TysonFawlay 0
Hm. At least you had the guts to talk to her. But thats a really retarded thing to ask as a first question...
Witchcraft_fml 5
I wonder what his next brilliant pick-up line would have been? "Wanna be my girlfriend?"?
chabz_fml 0
OH NO! SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND!?!?! somebody call a waaaambulance.
leisl14 0
the waiter should bring him a whamburger and french cries
philtheawesome 0
Dude you should write a book!!!!