Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML
Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
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Top comments
Sinshine 28
Are you sure that's your girlfriend?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I sincerely hope you just walked out.
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Comments (15)
Sinshine 28
Are you sure that's your girlfriend?
Derivaldo Junior 3
damn son
RichardPencil 32
How long were you in the bathroom? Was it long enough she’d have to discuss her abandonment issues with a caring father figure?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I sincerely hope you just walked out.
Scarlette 21
So do we !
PhoenixChick 26
Plot twist: OP walks out in a snit, girlfriend breaks up to him because she wanted to introduce him to her dad who surprised her by being in town.
metalhead88 9
Soooo walking out would be a good response to that but depending on how long you and your so called “girlfriend” have been together I’d probably would of called her out in front of everyone there.
iceberg 10
What r u doing with her?
Steve Martell 5
Look like she needs to walk home.
GUYMAINE 16
Should've ate and left the bill to them and dipped out
Patsy Boren 19
I would have walked out with out saying a single word to her
SaintPanda 1
rip