Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Arcterion 0
Dump her ass. Clearly she does not care about you.
UpYourself 0
Can anybody say......threesome
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Comments (206)
plexico 4
I guess that makes you her "insignificant other." The good news is the waitress and your girlfriend are looking for hot threesome action. The bad news is that is with yet another chick. Three Girls, Two Blue Balls
girlygirl666 0
Oh c'mon plexico! You know no one has balls on FML. Only "happy sacks";))
plexico 4
And I feel so inadequate that I have but one happy sack. It contains both balls. Do some guys have one sack per ball, or are they lugging around four or more balls?
ObadiahtheSlim 2
THREESOME!
C_Fer 0
Probably means you haven't been dating long enough for her to consider you her boyfriend. Or the date was just that bad. Move on brosef..
boone_fml 0
1. Are you sure she's your girlfriend? 2. No, really, are you sure it's mutual? If you answered yes to these two things, why aren't you talking to your girl to find out what she's doing. From what little information is provided, here is what I think the situation is: You took her on a few dates, maybe even a lot of dates. You assumed it was implied, that you would be exclusive. From her perspective, it seems like she's been waiting a while for you to ask her to take it to the next level. So she prodded you in the restaurant. So again, I ask, does she know she's your girlfriend?
icantellu 7
I'm telling you THREESOME is just calling your name!!
seminoles82 0
This post screams for a threesome...or at least some quality video...how is this a FML? You deserve this, and that's not a bad thing.
blastvortex 4
So they're going on a date, big deal. You make it sound like it's the end of the world. When it comes to it, she might not like the date after all. You'll never know until it happens. Or if it means so much to you, then why don't you talk to her about it. Either way, I doubt whining is gonna help.
disturbed_guy 0
did u say girlfriend and waitress, 2 girls, not thats there's anything wrng with it but u got dumped by ur girl for another girl
romaunts 0
Are you sure SHE considers herself your girlfriend? And have you ever discussed being exclusive or not? It not, YDI.
Scotticus117 11
she's bi?