beaglegun2009

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Help! I need somebody! Anybody!

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

68 comments

muffdriver This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Morning commute

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

81 comments

Anonymous 16 February 2012, 21:13 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

258 comments

BrianTheLion89 6 June 2012, 21:37 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Great story, tell it again!

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

112 comments