Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Arcterion 0
Dump her ass. Clearly she does not care about you.
UpYourself 0
Can anybody say......threesome
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Comments (206)
evolveahimsa 0
is the waitress hot? if so, your girlfriend has to share... sounds like you are a lucky guy!
Crunchy08 0
hmm and ur still calling her ur girlfriend?....that says a lot.
triplethreat13 0
Wow. I'm surprised there weren't more lesbian/bi hatred comments on this. There's nothing wrong with being lesbian/bi. My best friend is gay and he's the most amazing person in the world. And OP, if you were dating the girl for 9 months, you must really like her, so naturally you should have stepped in and said you were her boyfriend before anything happened, but since you did nothing, you'll have to accept the fact that she's bi. If you'd been together that long, surely that won't bother you.
DameGreyWulf 1
It's not that she's bi that's bothering him, it's that she's going on a date with someone else when she's already in a relationship. You're being just as bigoted by not seeing this as a big deal since it's with another girl instead of a guy. I mean, I doubt you'd say "just accept it" if it were a waitER who asked her. But I agree he should have stepped in, and should say something to her now.
killinmesmalls 0
Maybe your definition of girlfriend is wrong.
xthinonefershizx 0
What part of "threesomes are good" do you not understand?
skgirl 0
wow umm so basicly your girlfriend and you arent a couple and you find out shes gay if you didnt know this already hm sucks i guess not to bad find someone new its ok idk
Ranryu 0
She's probably just orchestrating a threesome, go with it
Mr_schadenfreude 0
It'd be great if she'd let you watch both of them scoring though, wouldn't it? Even if it was a break-up gift...
is_this_a_joke 0
how is this an FML?!?! Threesome dude
Blake7 0
really. I mean reaaly. if it happens and in my mind it's a really big if - then this world is as f--kd u as it seems