Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML
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Top comments
nenagh_ 0
yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??
Luckster 0
You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.
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Comments (129)
marc_with_a_c 3
You're an idiot.. when I have smoker friends who go outside for one, I just go along too and that's it, I don't pretend to smoke.. seriously get a brain
PhillyFox 0
So you were willing to take up an unhealthy habit for some random guy you met at a bar? I suppose if he needed to go outside to do a line of coke you'd suddenly take up that habit, too. Try being yourself for once, jeeze. You sound so desperate it's pathetic. Not to mention you're extra stupid for 1) not knowing which end of the cigarette to light and 2) for not thinking of another excuse to go outside that didn't resort you to smoke.
lostfaithinpppl 19
+1 The words of wisdom!
KamilleBlack 3
EW! Girl, u don't want a smoker! Their disgusting! I heard kissing them is like licking an ash tray. yuck.
originalusername_fml 0
nice username, Poser; it really completes your FML. you deserved it so badly that 'YDI' doesn't even cut it.
jillz 0
OP, you are too eager. Let him be the one to follow you around lest you look like a ****. For your own good, stop being so interested in the boys.
littlexlion 4
Please don't procreate.
originalusername_fml 0
#50, you just made my day XD
Lisa89 3
why didn't you just ask if you could come to chat with him..
blastvortex 4
It's not like you couldn't have just joined him sans the cig anyway. Besides that, you could've squeaked out of it by making like you were already buzzed. Get it together, OP.
StaticDown 0
Yeah, how can she not know that orange is the side you inhale on. I'm not a smoker but I know that much, should become common sense to know that stuff how often people smoke.
lem0n_fml 0
So smoking and going to bars automatically makes him a bad person?