Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML
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Top comments
nenagh_ 0
yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??
Luckster 0
You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.
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Comments (129)
Zarggg 0
Hint: Just go outside with him. You don't need to smoke. :P
hetizmij 0
Smoking just to go outside with some guy? If he's into you he'll be back inside before you know it. Or you could have joined without smoking.
Lauren_luv 0
# 62 how do you know he was picking up women? What if he was gay and wanted to be friendly to the lady? Or he was just straight and friendly.There are men like who don't want to be in your pants just because they talk to you,ya know?
StonePilot 0
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to infer that a woman meeting a 'great guy' and wanting to impress him probably makes it intimate.
babygurl23 0
Seriously gurl If your even Gonna protend to light a cigarette, know what side your lighting, it doesnt take a smoker to know that
teiso_fml 0
It was a pretty dumb thing to do. Admitting that you want to go with him to talk to him, because you enjoy his company, probably would have earned you more points with him than making up some excuse just to go outside with him. Besides, even if you hadn't lit the wrong end, what do you think would have happened when you inhaled for the first time having never smoked before? You would have coughed and sputtered. That's not attractive, either. Your lungs don't adjust right away. It's a pretty dumb reason to take up smoking, anyhow.
No_Heart 0
Why is he an idiot for smoking?
makino_fml 2
If you are willing to go as far as smoking because of a stranger, I don't even want to imagine what you will do if you come across a "great guy" you just met who commit crimes. YDI, especially if you find yourself addicted to smoking one day.
lovely_lady_712 0
YDI for trying to smoke..
nefarious61 0
YTDI for being so clingy to some guy you just met. Can we say low self-esteem?
Comentator 0
YDI...what are you 15? Don't take up smoking to impress some one...that's lame