Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML
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Top comments
nenagh_ 0
yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??
Luckster 0
You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.
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Comments (129)
habesjn 0
You'd try smoking, with the possibility to get yourself addicted, just to talk to some guy?
StonePilot 0
Yes. One, he's an idiot for smoking, and two, he goes to bars to pick up random (apparently stupid) women.
thesunshotme 0
Well, at least you didn't embarrass yourself more by hacking, coughing, and choking with your first puff, which would definitely have happened.
ashleynonymous 0
Blame it on being drunk. He'll take you home with him.
tennisstar8D 0
As everyone else is saying YDI if the only way you can talk to him is by starting smoking, then gurl! you need some flirting tips.
lem0n_fml 0
A couple bad decisions don't make a bad person.
unlucky93_fml 0
Wow, isn't this what weve learned NOT to do? haha your such an idiot!
xx_irish_rose_xx 0
How do you light the wrong end? Are you like 9?
errrratic 0
Did you come up with an excuse for that too? Seriously, if you have to borrow someone's cigarette to do talk to him, that's a problem. Could you NOT wait the 3 minutes it takes to smoke a cigarette for him to come back and resume where you left off? YDI. Big time.
Fail_Pig 0
Are you that desperate to talk to someone? You took off a week of your life if you smoked that thing, that's a week less with more guys. Douche bag... Your a FAIL PIG, or in other words - YDI!