Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You know what bugs me? People who ask a question and then answer it themselves.
lelo007 11
It seems so many people jump straight into violence these days over the smallest matters, it's just ridiculous. I hope he at least apologized after being an ass, and also that your nose heals quickly!
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Comments (68)
seandaniel13 2
The poor bastard with a well done top lip
newbiehere99 6
What?
lelo007 11
14- Well done, as in how you cook a steak is what I'm guessing...
tristanisgay 7
1- I'm pretty good at comprehending most things but after reading what you just said...I'm second guessing myself. I have no idea what in the hell you just said.
JAMSM 6
Poor 1. Your comment so simple, yet so misunderstood.
ThatChick151 2
...Our generation.
TurquoiseJesus 15
Because it certainly says the age of either person.
KiddNYC1O 22
I think that pic is a mockery of Edward. Well, he is a mockery anyways.
trivel64 16
There are stupid people in every generation and there always will be. I'm sick and tired of people using the "our generation sucks" excuse when they don't like something. Suck it up.
sens3sfailing 25
Most generations are just as stupid, just with all this technology (and laws that don't let you lock up your kid) just let the supreme idiots be seen and heard more easily. I almost wish you had to have a certain iq to use the Internet, but lets face it, idiots make us feel better about ourselves and keep us entertained.
tsent8 15
^^^^^ mmhm further evidence is the rise in philosophy majors. Those poor unguided bastards.
bazzer69 3
Pretend you were in a bar fight... Or beat up a bear or something awesome
taylorgangg 9
That's the last time you help a stranger out...
lelo007 11
It seems so many people jump straight into violence these days over the smallest matters, it's just ridiculous. I hope he at least apologized after being an ass, and also that your nose heals quickly!
gadgetmaster 10
People have always been violent haven't they...? Over stupid things. Human nature.
lelo007 11
Unfortunately. But I like to think overly violent people lack any type of normal thought process, and eventually will succumb to Darwin's Survival of the Fittest. It doesn't pay to have that type of strength if the smarts aren't behind it to control it.
JAMSM 6
Alas, Darwin's effect on humans is near gone. Many humans not fit to carry on do. Also... You must remember... Muscle bound types (with no brain function, per se) and smart fellows (be they strong or weak) attract totally separate types of mates. We are essentially two separate species with the ability to interbreed. Thus they continue if they are the fittest of their subspecies. (There are many subspecies if what I've said is of merit, not just the two) (Not all muscle bound people are stupid, i'm just using that as the title of my antagonist category or "subspecies")
ICastillo 25
You should have whooped his ass Op, what the hell it's his fault for being dumb.
lelo007 11
7- Violence isn't the answer!!.. Well, okay, sometimes it is. Two wrongs don't make a right!.. Yea, then sure, I guess depending on the situation they could. Screw it, beat his ass, OP!
ICastillo 25
Some people just need a punch in the nose sometimes.
lelo007 11
With a cinder block.
ICastillo 25
Hmm I think that would kill the guy, but a fist will do just fine.
lelo007 11
Alright.. If you insist, we'll do it the sissy way.
ICastillo 25
I'm no sissy, we'll use a baseball bat then.
lelo007 11
Psh... Tire iron.
ICastillo 25
Psh...psh....sledge hammer.
sonuskos 6
You guys are weak. Take away his bacon and he will truly start bawling.
ICastillo 25
Hit him with a sledge, then take his bacon and eat it in front of him.
sonuskos 6
Oh man... You never eat someone else's bacon in front of them. Thats worser then torture.
Hiphuray4peas 27
Next time, hand them the lighter. Let them burn themselves!
TurquoiseJesus 15
I was under the impression that that is what happened.
zenrael 21
Some ppl aren't as intuitive as us to read between the lines
LouisianaBob 9
Or read the lines
Hiphuray4peas 27
I admit to not quite understanding the post. Now it makes sense. Thanks.
perdix 31
How, in this day and age, not realize that a lighter is a butane one? Even non-smokers know that. He probably punched you because you laughed at his singed nose.
cajekraze 7
All lighters, except for zippos, are butane. OP should've said mini-torch, if that's what was meant
SUPA_TOLL_CAL 6
if people ask about your nose, you should say; " should've seen the other guy "
newbiehere99 6
Well Christmas is around the corner and I heard Rudolph was on vacation this year! Maybe you should see if you can cover him!