Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML
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Top comments
nenagh_ 0
yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??
Luckster 0
You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.
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Comments (129)
veganphotog 0
"He was going outside for a smoke. . ." I think he was blowing you off (i.e. trying to get away from you). Smoking to impress a stranger? FAIL.
lem0n_fml 0
Why does that mean he was blowing her off? People who are addicted need their fix.
djb1034 0
As someone who smokes occasionally, particularly when drinking, I can tell you that in that situation he probably wouldn't have judged you for not smoking, unless he is an asshole, in which case you would most likely not want to pursue him. Smoking is merely an enjoyable activity that some people choose to partake in, even though it is bad for you. What I dislike most is when people judge other people for choosing to smoke, even if the smoker goes out of their way to ensure it does not harm them, to as great a degree as possible.
mushoo_fml 0
How exactly do you go out of your way to ensure it doesn't harm you (being curious not judgemental). Getting the "light" stuff is like getting a Big Mac with a Diet coke. It's still fattening!
djb1034 0
Ya, I meant going out of your way to try to not harm other non-smokers with second hand smoke, etc. but the way I phrased it was unclear as for the person smoking it's of course always harmful.
Daydreamer86 0
Smokers can go out of their way to not "harm" their friends by staying downwind, making sure they don't smoke inside other peoples houses. You know, respectful things.
mushoo_fml 0
Ah I see.
Jordan_McDeere 0
Vomiting? What, did you eat the cigarette? Even then, unless it was made from food poisoning, that's a pretty extreme reaction. If you're not used to it, you might cough a bit.
musicislife1995_fml 0
how the **** are we supposed to feel sorry for you? this is hardly an FML because YDI big time. you don't actually need to smoke to be with him outside you dumbass, it's not like you step outside an 'ZOMGZ I HAVE TO SMOOOKE!'. thi is all because you like some guy so you're willing to do something disgusting? he's not going to like you more because you smoke. my god, dong expect us to be sympathetic, it wasn't even that embarassing.
blueStoney 0
How ******* stupid do you have to be to try and light the goddamn filter? Have you NEVER seen ANYONE smoke before? YDI, idiot.
shockcrow 0
wow.... trying to act all cool, but u messed up at that. lol
Onlyatmvah 0
well at least you were at a bar so you could play it off... just pretend that you were wasted
Julia626 0
******* loser. smoking is not cool its disgusting, you could have still went outside with him without pretending to smoke. be yourself
killurbeer 0
**** everyone who says smoking is gross, disgusting ect.. shut the **** up its their life not yours mind your own business
T1A2Z3 35
I'm sorry... it is disgusting and gross and highly unappealing and actually if they're smoking around other people it's not only their lives. I've gotten countless attacks because of inconsiderate assholes smoking in my face. It's not just their lives.
Julia626 0
@ **** everyone who says smoking is gross, disgusting ect.. shut the **** up its their life not yours mind your own business lemme guess youre a smoker? why dont you go brush ur yellow teeth
lem0n_fml 0
I'm not a smoker, but I somewhat agree with him. It's just annoying that on any FML that remotely mentions cigarettes people are like OMG EW, YOU'RE GROSS, YOU'RE KILLING EVERYONE. It is a personal option. If you don't like other people smoking, actually do something proactive about it instead of bitching and moaning on a website.