Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML
Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML
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Top comments
nenagh_ 0
yep, YDI. you would risk cancer + DEATH so you can make out with some guy??
Luckster 0
You don't NEED to smoke to go outside with him dumbass.
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Comments (129)
oelfke 5
smoking is his choice. and ppl dont just go to bars to have a good time?
gigi03 5
First of all your meeting the guy at a bar second its in a bar third its in a bar get it hell be nice just to get some..
mtbrown 0
This proves people are stupid to think they are cool to smoke
ryanisexy 5
Great guys don't smoke
Meesersuperman1 4
Well he's not very great if he smokes. The best you could maybe give him is that he's funny.
workoutfreak 4
Your a retard I say this becuz I have 3 braincells an 1 is givin CPR to the other thus leaving me with 1 brain cell and making me a complete moron.
hrubi4x4 4
1 dumb BITCH
bluerhhajfk 17
How great could he be if he smokes?
charvisioku 22
You judge a person's entire character based on their smoking habits? How shallow. Get over yourself.
MidnightMusic53 37
Great idea, OP. It's always a good idea to risk getting addicted to cigarettes (which are very harmful, as everyone knows) just to be with a man you barely know that you met at a bar. Didn't it ever occur to you that you don't have to smoke to hang out with those who do? I hope you never got around to lighting that cigarette, you're an idiot.
ThLast_Huntr22 7
DONT SMOKE, IF HE SMOKES HE SMOKES, YOU DONT HAVE TO