Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me and reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML
Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying, "It's for my acne." FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
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Top comments
DefiningDivine 13
Hence the word "Raising" Meaning, you should still be able to teach her and help her understand.
NessieMonster188 17
So what you're saying is.. *puts on sunglasses* That's not the only Coke in her future. ...that was terrible, I know.
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Comments (101)
DefiningDivine 13
Hence the word "Raising" Meaning, you should still be able to teach her and help her understand.
ksks1234 33
But with the "raising" it would sound like she is younger. Since she is old enough to be taking sleeping pills, I would assume she is a teen. She could already be an addict.
samikitty961 8
I don't understand how wanting to have a coke before bed and then taking sleeping pills so she can still sleep makes this girl a future drug addict. That seems pretty logical to me. I think OP is overreacting.
dee_89 7
Sounds like your a drug addict
dee_89 7
That comment was for 68 btw
ladyLALAA 29
Takes on to know one 72...
CobraLazerFace 21
Perhaps OP is raising a female Max Payne!
landon_loe11 16
Instead of complaining on here why don't you try to teach your daughter something.
DefiningDivine 13
Even if you think you're helping, ignorance is not the key.
DocBastard 40
Landon_loe - Is there some reason she can't do both? Do you have something against people posting their stories on the Internet? If so, you're in the wrong place, friend.
gotaplanstan 28
Teach her how tequila works much better than Coke :D
buckdharma 38
#40- That profile pic adds new meaning to " having a Coke. "
Nicholi124 10
And the cycle continues!!
1coolchic 4
Perhaps you could try a little something called parenting? Confiscate both the soda and sleeping pills. When did common sense become such a rare commodity?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Unless you make her throw up, I don't think you can confiscate something that was already ingested.
doodlecloud 27
Doesn't mean you can't stop her from doing the same thing the next night.
Serisent 26
I think it's time to stop buying both the soda and the sleeping pills, and maybe to be a ******* parent.
raphanne_fml 33
I don't think OP's sex life is the problem here...
Serisent 26
Nicely played, #53.
raphanne_fml 33
Thank you, my good lady.
NessieMonster188 17
So what you're saying is.. *puts on sunglasses* That's not the only Coke in her future. ...that was terrible, I know.
akiahara 14
Perdix you are not, my dear.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I think she knows that. I thought it was funny.
perdix 31
#6, too many words after the LSG. This comment was fine without the device, but it was still good enough that it wasn't ruined by the ham-fisted inclusion of the sunglasses.
Pleonasm 36
16- Because perdix invented the Lowering Sunglasses thing.
caitlinrawrr 9
I liked it.
perdix 31
#32, I didn't invent LSG, but I like to think I practice it pretty well. Michael Jordan didn't invent basketball...
gotaplanstan 28
Terribly clever :)
MsConfusedd 27
It's okay, she can balance the weed with chocolate!
fml121785 14
There's something that OP is missing... I don't think drug addicts try to "balance" anything out. Most like to go either up or down. I think jumping to the conclusion that she maybe a future drug addict because of a Coke and sleeping pills is a bit extreme, but just in case you may want to cut out the sleeping pills now. There are plenty of natural remedies to help her sleep, you should try those BEFORE the pills.
laden_swallow09 35
Sorry, 61. Thumbed you down by mistake.
gman90210 18
And what might they be? I'd like to know so I don't have to take the sleeping pills which only work half the time now
Twinn4ever 13
She must take after someone..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Rick James? Bobby Brown? Lindsey Lohan?
lambda_fml 40
Paris Hilton? Britney Spears?? Ke$ha???
kevsandy303 12
Me??
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Well, keep in mind she'll only become a drug addict if you don't do anything about it...
ravenh1979 13
Mmm.. Not always true..
laurenasabutton 26
In her defence, she probably isn't wrong.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Damn idiot. Everyone knows that it's Mountain Dew that goes smashingly with sleeping pills.
DefiningDivine 13
Smashing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dat face.
gc327072 31
The Shah face!