holyshart
United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
KindaLooksLikeCocaine
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
funnymanjoe
United States
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
curlyisnogood
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
GonnaLockUpMySpices
San Francisco, United States
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
scotto
United States
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
meh beard
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Bowmanville, Canada
I'm awake
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
You hypocrite
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
mario
Corvallis, United States
Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML
Andy
United Kingdom
Stealth
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
wah wah "you raised him"
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Top comments
garebear13 4
They're outta this world! Okay...I'm done...
Aug1508 9
I guess your room mate was trying to get sugar high. I don't think they understand that concept lol.
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Comments (161)
flashback.miss 28
Need a moment? Chew it over with a twix. But seriously, that takes a special kind of stupid.
LMFAOallthetime 8
Oh my.....your tounge.....ew.....
1710_fml 0
Looks like you were successful at smoking the candy bar
k_mae22 2
They were on that bath salt
Calyx_fml 22
Smoke like a cigar or smoke like a ****?
Calyx_fml 22
"Smoke my pole" is a more colorful euphemism for "blow me", which is another more colorful euphemism for "perform fellatio on me". Google it.
MrFuzzles 5
I swear, people will ingest anything looking for a high. I've lost hope in my own generation. I'm moving to Mars.
mrsfuzzles 5
Hello MrFuzzles.
MrFuzzles 5
Well hello there baby! Nice to see you finally learned how to comment :)
mrsfuzzles 5
Woop!
RigPig 3
Apparently, not the first thing he's ever smoked in his life.
jaredofmo 22
That's a new way to try to enjoy chocolate. A wrong new way, but still new.
reddudeover 2
45 - Profile - "I am human"... That's exactly what a damn alien would say. *Grabs shotgun!
jaredofmo 22
I come in peace, Earthling.
kimg0885 23
Did they at least offer u a hit?
chaseskates 0
New form of weed?
AWESOMESAUCE365 0
What's his name? I might know him :)
crxb16 2
Should have just handed him some bath salts!