Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
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Top comments
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
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Comments (96)
piedpiper303 29
The broke teens guide to getting high
ohcheriecherie 20
OP should teach him to huff paint
greeneyebeauty9 28
Oh yeah that sounds like a GREAT idea.
wannabeactress71 8
I think he was thinking of a vapor pen.. Lol
KJBanx 7
Think about it this way... Someone has tried smoking pretty much every substance in an attempt to get high... How else would the rest of us know which substances actually do work?
mybubbles2000 13
Oh yeah teach his son to get high! Are you nuts??????
aimzskee 30
"I am the fire starter"
flashback.miss 28
glass didn't the ink didn't leak all over him before you found him doing that? glass didn't crack? hopefully it wasn't a expensive pen. get him help.
Welshite 40
You've been sniffing pen ink again, haven't you?
tackblog 14
This isn't related to the topic, but your profile pic with the leech and eye makes me cringe.
flashback.miss 28
XD
lord_meloetta 20
Wow I didn't look at the pic thanks a ton I'm gonna freak out now
mybubbles2000 13
Mine too.
Im_a_GOAT 8
#44 I thought that was grape jelly
Earths_Venus 25
Has this kid never heard of the Internet?
extrasnipes 22
but you can't get high off the interent
damaniii 7
This generation of children just keeps getting better and better...
cryssycakesx3 23
ah, the obligatory "this generation" comment...
Uglyfeet 23
Back in the days, there were no such lazy comments about the present generation!
1947Chevy 17
Back in the day there were no comments but we better stop at that because this could go on forever
Ziggy122 15
There were generation comments back in the day. They just weren't on the internet.
lilithkitty 3
The generation before us isn't much better u r the ones that raised us.
Beansforbill 14
That seems pretty creative. Did it work?
IloveToLaugh143 21
Totally. After I read this FML, I went to go tell the local stoners about it. They were thrilled.
MelTheGreat 23
Everybody knows it works. Especially teens. They know everything.
baseballbv 17
Drugs are bad for you M'Kay? It makes you do stupid stuff.
extrasnipes 22
Well, yes but I think you'll beg for them when you need surgery done
cryptic26 12
That's a whole other ballpark my friend.
Dontalktome 9
In this case, I think doing stupid stuff came before the drugs. Burning plastic to get high isn't exactly what I call intelligent.
KingLewisII 34
#34, #6 was making a South Park reference
ohcheriecherie 20
this kid is trying to smoke a pen. drugs probably won't make him do anything dumber.
Faff 20
Drugs can also make you do beautiful stuff. Think ofall the genres of music and types of art that wouldn't exist without drugs!
oddities 20
#6, and then there are people who already do stupid things. For their own safety (and ours too), we should never let them near drugs. Unless we're trying to make a viral YouTube video.
doraaa01 7
Totally read this in Mr Mackay's voice hehehehe
the_truth_lives 9
Bravo to you #6, well quoted from possibly the greatest tv series to ever exist
rhysfucker 24
Hide the model glue and lawnmower gas. Those will be next, and they kill lots of brain.... What were we talking about?
random_cashmere 25
And the highlighters. They have high in there for a reason.
junkman6 22
"Kids these day." You have the internet and you still don't know the basics of getting high? SMDH.
belljars 22
What an innocent mind
aruden 25
It will get him something for sure.. not high but something