GonnaLockUpMySpices
San Francisco, United States
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
KindaLooksLikeCocaine
San Francisco, United States
Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
funnymanjoe
United States
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Nathanael Johnson
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Confused
Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML
holyshart
United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Anonymous
Saint-hubert, Canada
Good tasting
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
wreckdit
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United States
'Ello 'ello 'ello
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
mario
Corvallis, United States
Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML
Annomymous
Clarkston, United States
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Anonymous
United States
Gotcha good
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Top comments
gunzerker 8
your spice cabinet is locked?
zombiekiller52 24
Was he high when he did this?
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Comments (83)
WordBea 23
Let him do it to teach him a lesson.
LittleRed79 39
...a chemistry lesson??
snarkytruth 37
More like a biology lesson
RodzillaX 30
#1 Shut up Meg.
Mpii 11
#1 Shut up nutmeg.
gunzerker 8
your spice cabinet is locked?
Googolman 29
Apparently it has to be since his roommate might try to break in.
Seabass_Chan 33
...and now we know why.
drunkmunkey 24
or OP has spices he didn't mention....
Mpii 11
Or maybe op has some very expencive spices.
The_Sadist 13
He has a roommate that tries to get high off his nutmeg. Wouldn't you?
zombiekiller52 24
Was he high when he did this?
ShleeG 23
Really?! That's a thing people do?
Leftwise 11
Makes wicked tea that gives a good high.
OSMC 10
you had personal experience, high sir?
MRS_SILVER 11
Yes but it's actually pretty dangerous. I'd stick to weed or using a whipped cream container if you're really in a tough spot
Garrett2818 21
Huffing whipped cream is bad for you though
Cads1 24
That isn't even a real thing.
Welshite 40
Yes, it is. With sufficient quantities, nutmeg will get you high, but it usually gets you really sick as well. Also, it's lethal if injected intravenously.
MDoremis 38
Well then. You learn something new everyday.
False_Stupidity 42
I suspect that if I tried sniffing my nutmeg, all I'd get is a sneezing attack.
chinaski7628 32
19—you smoke it (not that I've tried it, but that's the word on the street).
CharlieM78 9
That's pretty pathetic but so is the fact that you lock your spice cabinet.
coried91 28
The title of the FML says they need to lock up their spices so I'm assuming it wasn't even locked to begin with.
Brandon1000 10
Did it work?
estroyer9 14
Better take his markers so you could get "high" off of them.
snarkytruth 37
You would have to have way too much nutmeg for him to actually get high. It would only take one time to teach him to never do it again. The weak high isn't worth how violently sick it makes you.
wobbly1 16
Thyme for the nutmeg challenge.
StzaCrack666 18
Yep tried it once in high school never again
kianabanannna 21
Desperate times call for desperate measures