Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
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Top comments
theunwiseone 4
Well, she's not the brightest bulb in the box.
mistersheezy 7
I would love to know how long these "tanning" sessions last.
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Comments (73)
jerico616 14
Your daughter's name isn't Kelly and your last name isn't Bundy, is it?
Miss_Attitude96 24
Is she blonde? :-P
stoneywoney 3
I'm offended. Blondes can be smart!!! Or am I just being blonde for saying that
K_kanaka 26
-__- Your daughter is part of the generation ment to lead the human race.....WE ARE SO SCREWED!!!
Zaros_fml 24
That statement could be applied to every generation. And hopefully leadership qualities aren't based on what kind of lamp you (try to) tan under.
GSP101 0
WHY....,
whited666 0
At least your daughter is creative:)?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Creativity without intelligence is wasted.
BritLass 15
It sounds like she needs you to talk to her. She may be using a lamp at the minute but she'll find out other methods which could harm her skin. You should inform her about other safer methods if it's what she really want to do. :)
False_Stupidity 42
There are no safe methods, tanning can cause cancer no matter how it's done
gribbles 12
Really? Spray tanning involves no UV rays. Just sayin'
tona01 16
No but the spray isn't that good for the skin either, because it doesn't let the skin breath You know, because it's paint
Doortje 30
Don't worry OP, some day she'll she the light.
BryVOOD 0
I see what you did there
mim777 4
congratulations, for passing your degree on 'stating the obvious'
krysxkatastrophe 14
Just let her think that. Last time I checked, desk lamps don't cause skin cancer.
tnlander 20
Someone's just trying to rub a warm bulb against her cooch and keeps getting caught by mom.
Gargoyle123 2
Sorry op, I don't know watt to tell you, but your daughter is a dim-wit.