Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I tried doing a hair dye at home for the first time. I misread the instructions and left the dye on for twice the recommended time. Now my hair is the color of a traffic cone and brittle enough to break if I sneeze. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
platypus546 24
gingers don't tan, silly rabbit
organizse 28
Yikes, skipped orange and went straight for lobster
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
Scryll 17
Lesson learned I guess...
jdibartolo1 12
burns doesn't it
JazzHandsFML 28
op must've been pretty red faced about her stupidity
Swandive235 27
Yeah, but just go lay out in the sun for awhile and tan. I am one of those people that tan very easily, so cratch that first part.
Wakachulak 22
OP, I bet you look hot.
organizse 28
Yikes, skipped orange and went straight for lobster
mmmxr 11
Op got sun bleached! Now She can go party with Craig mammalton.
funsizedliz 16
YDI bc you weren't born with beautiful tan skin like me.
mmmxr 11
Seriously you sound like and idiot and act like your 10. For a 19 year old you've got a whole lot of growing up to do.
TheGolfGTI 24
#60 Being a troll is not really tolerated on this site.
shemademedoit 20
#60 is not a troll. she does that a lot and also thinks sexually
OhYouMad 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But does the carpet match the drapes?
Scryll 17
Well this just got weird...
wchil 14
does fml know no boundaries?
platypus546 24
gingers don't tan, silly rabbit
CODplayer4lyfe 24
As a half ginger I can confirm that this is 100% true with any amount of red hair.
eagleriverjohn 24
I only have a small amount of red hair, they are basically natural highlights and I can confirm what 51 said. Just being in the sun for short amounts of time my skin turns red.
mukduk 21
My friend is half back half ginger with some red highlights in her hair. She's the only ginger I know who can tan very easily.
nicolemf4 13
we don't tan, we freckle -.-
ughed 14
at least the tan will last you the whole summer
gearhead369 20
A little research could go a really long way
ohSNAPyall 27
Yeah, it could have warned her, but a tanning salon professional also could and should have.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Yep, it may have even taught her that sunbeds are skin-cancer-licious.
jgwyh 18
Nothing like a good camouflage for summer
Im2Shy 16
Being a redhead myself, I learned at a very young age that we burn at lightning speed. Sorry OP but you should have already known what just 10 minutes can do.
_kyleG_ 34
In my medical internship I learned that -itis means to be inflamed. You are literally walking case of Gingivitis.
LavenderParadise 2
itis- inflammation how does that describe a sunburn? -.-
Alle29 14
Ginger and sunburnt. You poor thing.
xygen 19
Maybe the op likes being redheaded. Some girls look amazing with red hair.
mergeterge 24
Lol. Agreed! ;)
Im2Shy 16
I too agree! :-)
MrConcise 35
Natural redheads are a turnoff to me, I dunno why people like it personally. It's never dark enough to be an actual "red", it's usually just this nasty washed orange color. Dyed red hair is different, but then they don't have the pale skin and freckles that usually accompany natural red hair. I guess I'm just a hater.
Im2Shy 16
Haters are a turnoff to me!
littlekellilee 45
My hair is naturally a dark brown that turns deep red in the sun. I have pale skin and freckles. I was told in Palm Springs that the desert is no place for me. I find people that dislike red hair a turn off.
MrConcise 35
I should've made it clearer, the lack of pale skin and freckles is a plus. I'm into that middle-eastern or South American look. Dyed red hair looks bomb AF that way.