Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML
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Top comments
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
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Comments (127)
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe she was just trying to make a heroin cake. It was the next step after those poppy seed cakes.
friedpwnadge 25
Now that this has been drug out in the open, talk with her about it and give some serious consequences for even attempting drugs.
His_Holiness 18
She was trying to inhale the fumes. If I were OP I would lock away all my tin foil
\ 28
Nah, the tin foil approach is reeally expensive and wasteful... Injection is cheaper and more efficient. Don't ask me how I know this... (*twitch twitch*) (*snort*)
fml121785 14
Maybe she needs to be thrown in rehab now and save you the trouble down the road! A puff of a joint at a party is one thing when kids are 14, but thinking she was doing heroine is quite a leap from that!
mFUNdo21 17
I read it as "light saber" at first (" ._.)
ohgeejosee 19
I'd smack the shit out of her if it were my kid!
icyhottt 11
She was trying to be sweet:)
xSLEEPYxHEADx 22
You have an idiot for a daughter.
ThexVengence 21
sadly this is how kids are today.
bunnylove483 17
Wait, so only kids nowadays use drugs? I could've sworn the late '60s and early '70s was full of adolescents using drugs as a sign of rebellion. Guess not.
TheDrifter 24
They were, but kids used to actually get and use drugs, not just mime the motions of drug users. This is just sad.
fsomelife 26
I think the message is clear: time to illegalize spoons. Too great of a threat to kids everywhere.
wonderfulrosie 13
Uh, yeah no. Not all of us are ignoramuses like OP's daughter, so don't generalize.
Zaros_fml 24
Especially those deadly assault spoons. They're the real cause of fatal obesity if you ask me.
FMLkoala 28
Sadly this is how SOME commenters are today
fsomelife 26
Goodness forbid they find ladles!
speckledots 29
Actually its found that more teens and adults use way more drugs today than in the 60s 70s and 80s. Though the 60s are still known as the hippie stoner age.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's because weed is damn near everywhere nowadays, 39. Plus the Internet will teach you all sorts of things that was more or less word of mouth back in the 60's-70's. Everyone knows marijuana isn't too bad for you so more people are trying it, while back then it was thought to turn you into a devil, or a scrambled egg. Drug consumption will never die down, so the supply will never stop. It's only going to get worse as the fiends are turning younger and younger. I'm not saying all "drugs" are bad, but being a fiend means taking recreational to habitual.
bstre 6
No, its not.
JACKxRAWR 22
I get how teens would want to try pot, but heroin!? That shit ***** up lives. My cousin was a heroin addict. He's dead now and he's left behind a pair of kids that are never going to lead a happy life.
Spider_Web 11
On a random side note, 8's picture almost made me shit myself
FrancesShiver 20
Sadly you are wrong.
nicole86 8
Wow! Better have a good talk with her now and be thankful it wasn't the real stuff!!
hghrider123456 9
Too bad it wasn't cocaine...
Caitie_kid 8
Agreed. I've seen many many people get into that stuff throughout my life, and very few have returned.
hashshim 23
Annnnnnd someone's an idiot.
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ryanthecheeseguy 18
Very punny. I hope the likes on this comment are high.
fsomelife 26
Not unless they've been breathing in some fumes.
lolita88_fml 27
That was terrible, I hope someone shoves a spoon up your nose.
TrinityNevada 11
that's great ;-)
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
QueenSaru 28
That was (sadly?) my first thought to. Not just that your daughter's apparently an idiot for wanting to do drugs, but that she's apparently an idiot PERIOD.
QueenSaru 28
And the irony of me typoing 'too' while calling someone else an idiot... ¬.¬;
Genuine_G 8
I think the worst part is op hasn't taught their child better.
Treveyon56 14
Who said OP hasn't. Parents aren't always to blame. Sometimes even with the best kids can still be stupid by their own choice.
destineepanic 5
Both.
ghil15 8
wOw!....
rg350dx 29
Wow*. For future reference, please feel free to elaborate instead of limiting yourself to just one word. You're so much better than that. I believe in you.
hghrider123456 9
Make her watch Breaking Bad...she'll not want to emd up like jesses girlfriend
Zaros_fml 24
WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME REMEMBER :(
NoFlippinWai 24
great. next time op catches her it will be because she started a meth lab fire. Op, do yourself a favor: dont let her watch breaking bad.
bendapanda 7
We're surrounded by a world of idiots, aren't we?
threer 30
Took you a while..
zaen 11
uh oh... well some one needs to hide their lighters and get someone into a drug prevention class
Queensland 27
Once I got so baked off baking powder. Thats what it does... right?