Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
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Top comments
theunwiseone 4
Well, she's not the brightest bulb in the box.
mistersheezy 7
I would love to know how long these "tanning" sessions last.
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Comments (73)
doogy15 11
Tell her youll give her 2000 bucks if she can lick her elbo lol
Hisfav1 6
Must be blonde
stoneywoney 3
It doesn't? Wow thanks. No wonder I'm still as white as ******* snow.
ih82bl8 2
Definition of insanity: trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a new result
brookeinator13 0
Is she blonde??
cjgqsmooth 0
your daughter watches too much jersey shore lhh
ipkeroro 0
the bright side is at least she wouldnt get skin cancer :)
kornpuffs 0
what a dumbass
Maritza345 0
Just buy her a lotion tan thing and she'll have a tan. Kinda...
UofLCardFan08 6
Your daughter's a dim bulb.