Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
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Top comments
theunwiseone 4
Well, she's not the brightest bulb in the box.
mistersheezy 7
I would love to know how long these "tanning" sessions last.
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Comments (73)
Shadow_Phantom 26
You probably need to reinforce the idea into her head a bit more. FYL.
Keyman1212 14
No, but she can get some nice burns from the bulb if she touches it... Let her learn from her mistakes OP.
changesinme 0
I think the live span of the bulb isn't long enough to give her a tan
TGRandom 5
She needs to get out of the house more often. And to learn some general science...
fthislyfe 22
Well, let her do it. It's less harmful than ultra violet beams causing a tan.
tatababe 1
Congrats you raised an idiot
monkeys1315 0
Maybe get her a tanning bed membership for her bday :)
BelleElle_fml 5
If she thinks regular desk lamps can give you a tan, then she probably also believes that rubber gloves are suitable protection.
peteyfas 8
No, normal light bulbs don't give out ultraviolet rays which is what you need to tan
Sebastian_NG 17
In this extreme cases you should beat the reality into her with the lamp
changesinme 0
She's not so bright is she?
enonymous 9
Ahh ****... I got a florescent light burn
Tarak_fml 7
A wonderful example of good parenting
afdude87 6
A wonderful example of you can't fix stupid.
EvilPotato 15
A wonderful example of how people are saying, 'a wonderful example'.
mistersheezy 7
I would love to know how long these "tanning" sessions last.
RavagedSouI 0
I think it would be more effective for her to place the lamp on her body, or perhaps the bulb left lighted for hours.
Bbhd05 0
This FML is reasonable if she's mentally handicapped.
BellaBelle_fml 23
13-That was just as dumb as the OP's daughter.
ih82bl8 2
And if she's not!?
marmlr339 14
That is hilarious. But it's better for her than a solarium
CantusVulpis 12
We used to have a dog just like that!
theunwiseone 4
Well, she's not the brightest bulb in the box.
prinzess_fml 25
nice :)
minisquid 9
That was a 'light'hearted comment.
Bloopdog 9
this is either a parenting fail or your daughter is really retarded.
22cute 17
OP just leave her alone. Obviously, there's something she likes about it. Give her the chance to make her own decisions & she'll eventually start to make better ones. Why do parents think they have to control everything their kid does?? And why would you even care about this? Cutting, bulimia and the like are how kids exert control over their own lives these days. Stop while you're ahead.
jefffluffingham 5
what the ****? bulimia is a disease, and cutting is a sign of depression. and this isnt controlling, its teaching. light bulbs cant tan. ever. physically impossible. shame about that idiocy, OP. and 25's parents.
babycakess10 0
okay doctor phill...
Jovecove 13
36 - It says that you're 16, but you really look like 36 years old.
Magex 12
So you are saying that you want kids to hurt themselves and be dumb and create chaos. Lets see how your kids turn out eh?
tona01 16
25 shut up! That is not controling, OP is just trying to get her daughter out of her idiocy, which apparently you have too. If trying to teach something to your son/daughter is controlling, then it would be easier to just release them in the woods wouldn't it. And the fact that you are 10 about to turn 11 ( yes i took a look at your profile) makes your comment invalid
Arias1228 3
Daughter is RETARDED LOL!!
Ugi 27
Halogen lamps produce quite a lot of UV, especially if it's one with a bare "capsule" bulb, so if it's a halogen desk lamp then it might give her a tan! People here seem so dogmatic - sometimes there are other reasons beyond people being stupid.
perdix 31
Considering how bad UV rays are for your skin, you ought to support her efforts to waste her time with this harmless routine.
Enigmax2514 7
Bring her to a spray tan shop and get it over with
Mitch_Connor 11
Seems she doesn't have any bright ideas.