Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theunwiseone 4
Well, she's not the brightest bulb in the box.
mistersheezy 7
I would love to know how long these "tanning" sessions last.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
fuzz97 23
It's your fault for drinking while pregnant.
JustJaredfied 0
Congrats you've raised an idiot
TexasRanger95 0
Is she at least hot? Cause that makes up for the stupidity.
apndi 9
FML makes teenagers look so stupid...
tona01 16
Stupid teenagers make teenagers look stupid
kaileb 7
Haha
chelseaaababyyy 17
let her think that ! this way she wont ruin her skin in a real tanning bed.
taytaylal 11
Maybe your daughter should pay attention in science class instead of texting her boyfriend.
crystalrain17 14
And out of what information did the "texting her boyfriend" come from, you chauvinist pig?
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Coming from the girl with her stomach showing, wearing tons of make up
HomeAl0ne 20
Start messing with her mind. Paint the bulb with a tan coloured varnish, putting an extra layer on each day. She'll start to see the tan developing under the lamp, but won't be able to figure out why it fades outside. Also tell her that she can heat pop tarts up by sitting them on her mobile phone for long enough.
FU2causeUFML 2
Maybe you should tell her to try going outside. lol
varkey 7
FYL for having a retarded daughter. Or is it just the way you raised her?