Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
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Top comments
thisgirlysfml 2
You
TayonaC 10
Im sure you were pissed
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Comments (120)
thisgirlysfml 2
You
whatsup215 0
I thought it would've been the homeless guy ...
TheElderTROLLZ 15
9- Nope, it was Jesus apparently.
whatsup215 0
Jesus turned water into wine ... I'm sure after seeing this he would've turned the urine into vodka ...
rahrah765765 11
Come on- it wouldn't have been that hard to turn the homeless guys urine into vodka.
MagicGiraffe 12
It probably already was mostly vodka considering he decided to piss in a chair.
celtics18 0
Aw shit. C'mon think think..! Pass?
dude1122332 9
Or was it the butler?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
62) Elementary, my dear Watson.
MasterGamer591 13
Why do everyone have the urge to make fun of Jesus? It's highly offensive from someone who is Christian, Jesus saves
xcarxcrashx 9
82, it's a joke, I think if jesus was real he would find it amusing.
JKr3slEMO 5
why do you have to take it so seriously...?
whatsup215 0
I don't think anyone's "making fun" of Jesus ... I'm pretty sure that we are embracing the w.w.j.d. statement. So I ask you #82 what would Jesus do if he saw you taking offense to an FML comment ??
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Blue fish
doctorhook86 25
TIL that there's some kind of rule that you have to have bladder control issues to be homeless.
nemo88 8
87-he is real!!!
krylonpony 3
Make the most fun out of it, slip n slide to the bathroom.
TinyEMT 6
Lol I really don't want to know what you do for fun outside of making slip-n-slides out of urine.
krylonpony 3
Dude don't take it literally, hobos slip n slide in their feces. Rednecks slip n slide in the mud.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
I like to dip babies in urine and eat them >:)
dsbs 9
Ong har har enderTROLLZ u trolld us so good!!!!!!1111
zachherbert 10
32- Dafuq?
MCRaddict15 15
There is no fun whatsoever cleaning someone else's urine. That is a situation you can't make the best out of.
dsbs 9
I leik cleaning up pee
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I like pie. Also, I'm going to maul you, guy who likes cleaning up piss. *maul*
beccax33 4
51 and 32 learn how to spell
Sarah_moustache 9
This whole thread is just messed up. -_-
TheStoryOfWazza 9
You're messed up.
IchimaruGin 5
I suppose he couldn't hold it in and gave up on trying D: Anyways, sorry OP.
zachherbert 10
Rub his nose in it and tell him "Bad boy! That is a NO NO!"
AGhost5445 25
I think he was marking his territory.
mystashisgone 6
Reminds me of the old days oh maybe 2 years ago... Except is was an angry employee... I don't remember why he got angry and quit on the spot but I do remember him taking a $@it in the urinal. Yea you think piss is bad try human feces outside of water in a urinal.probably one of the worst smelling and worst sight possible in my line of work. Had to put my nose in my shirt, hold my breath, put two pair of gloves on and two trash bags before I was done. Still doesn't remove the memory from my brain....I only wish I got to mop up piss that day. Fml not urs.
THE_A_TEEN 28
^*Cough *Cough *Attention ***** *Cough Cough *Wheeze
TayonaC 10
Im sure you were pissed
TinyEMT 6
These poor attempts at making a funny comment consisting of overused puns seem to be getting more and more common, lately. Or maybe I'm just now realizing how annoying they are..
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Hey, I liked the comment >:(
nick457 0
4- I see what you done there
zachherbert 10
It's better to be pissed off, than pissed on.
Arrawyn 12
35- every piss related FML has that exact comment....
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Let's all drink piss.
FMLoverAgain 7
Bless your heart!
cartooncharacter 9
Piss on op's heart...that's funny!!!
forthelove82 7
Let him earn some money by him cleaning it up himself! :D
zachherbert 10
I would of gave him 10 bucks to get the **** away from me.
whatsup215 0
10 bucks ... You're being generous.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Let me guess... Oh! I know! The dentist!
JKr3slEMO 5
err...lol..?
eddeeezzyy 19
I didn't know dentists work at coffee shops.
kaileylovesyew 4
114- rlly? U didnt? Wat kind of rock do u live under?!?! Lol
eddeeezzyy 19
Under the sea with a mysterious starfish named Patrick Star.
jellitonoctopus 19
That is extremely disgusting. Hope you had a efficient mop. I once had to clean up urine with paper towels and sponges.
MCRaddict15 15
39) I'm not sure about this, but I think if you are a waitress/waiter you clean up 'messes'. And urine on the ground is a mess, so maybe OP was required to clean it.
rahrah765765 11
Then who is?
AliceLockehart 18
When I worked at McDonalds a few years back a kid shit his pants & went down the slide, resulting in one long skid mark. Guess who had to clean that mess up? Yeah. Worst job I've ever had.
skullychicky 0
Man that suck; cleaning up after an animal is gross and they expected u to clean up after a homeless guy come on really; stupid dude Feel bad 4 ya that's just gross
unknown_user5566 27
Your comment is a Grammar Nazi's wet dream.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Yep, it suck.
zachherbert 10
25- Every time I read one of your comments, I imagine that little girl saying it.
writergirl23 19
10, I really think high management would clean up pee. Yes, I'm being sarcastic, and yes, I'm sure they'd make the first unlucky low-paid employee that they saw do it instead of them. I've been in that situation, it sucks. But you do it, or you're fired. Because they cannot have messes in their beloved shop, they'll lose customers.
skullychicky 0
Well Im srry I use auto correct bitch
couturedoll 7
Ah, the things we do for our paychecks. Btw, FYL OP.