Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one who's in my math class, noticed me, despite me trying to hide. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
foozebox 0
Gross. Hopefully you went straight home after- I'd hate to have people thinking that I peed on myself... or didn't clean myself on a daily basis, etc.
vampirate 0
uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh how could you not smell it?????????????? shit son
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Comments (63)
not1 0
hahaha, that is awesome:D
joeh1219 0
I wasted the first comment space batches
Jbiebs82 0
^^^^agreed^^^ SWEET!!!
rockindyl22 0
That must have pissed you off!
The_Real_Peter 1
^^pun intended^^
BvbArmy_0 18
Let me guess, OP lives in San Francisco
jengen 0
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Poor you!
fifafan626 0
dude that sucks homeless people can be gross
foozebox 0
Gross. Hopefully you went straight home after- I'd hate to have people thinking that I peed on myself... or didn't clean myself on a daily basis, etc.
vampirate 0
uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh how could you not smell it?????????????? shit son
HeyitsPheddy 0
You should team up with the guy below you.
gnitegracie 0
I've totally seen that shit before. There's this homeless guy who's always by the park near by house who acts like one of the trees is his girlfriend or something. He's always talking to it, hugging it, or pissing on it. Golden shower FTL
lilpsyco 16
Hey don't talk about Emma that way me and her have a very very close relationship. Got to love those woodpecker holes
GlobeNinja 0
**** that! you shud get your assed checked! I would have chundered everywhere
Tehalon 0
And you didn't smell the great parfume thats called morning urine? YDI.
redbluegreen 41
Yeah, see, this is why I don't go to public parks anymore. Not really, but that's just gross. I hope you went home immediately, showered, and washed your clothes. I didn't think urine was incredibly fragrant, and people don't really check where they sit in the first place. At least, I don't notice people checking.