Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML
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Top comments
moodyreallyrocks 27
Maybe go to another room or bed OP, because you have to rest. Best of luck..
Inkoseh 33
I have to do this to my husband. I tell him to roll onto his side (Which stops the snoring). He's a heavy sleeper and I'm a very light sleeper. When he rolls back, I just do it again. It can really suck. The way OP writes it seems he doesn't even wake, his body just reacts.
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Comments (28)
tonyfan00 38
Well, no one has ever said love always smells nice...
moodyreallyrocks 27
Maybe go to another room or bed OP, because you have to rest. Best of luck..
ImminentDisaster 12
How would nudging him stop him snoring? By waking him up so he can't sleep either?
Inkoseh 33
I have to do this to my husband. I tell him to roll onto his side (Which stops the snoring). He's a heavy sleeper and I'm a very light sleeper. When he rolls back, I just do it again. It can really suck. The way OP writes it seems he doesn't even wake, his body just reacts.
UNfml1979 4
It changes up the sleep cycle
Suaria 38
I nudge my boyfriend when he snores. It usually stops him snoring and usually doesn't wake him up.
RichardPencil 32
Two words: Butt plug Or two other words: New boyfriend.
Miss_Whipped 43
He's not snoring through his asshole.
Alexandria79 22
"he's not snoring through his asshole" omg I love this comment. laughing so hard right now
RichardPencil 32
Farting is snoring through the asshole.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Or more logically it is called sleep apnea. My husband did that for YEARS, finally got a sleep study done. He is on a CPAP now and it is a night and day difference.
RichardPencil 32
Yes, that's more logical, but not nearly as hilarious as a butt plug.
Taylor Caldwell 10
Go sleep on the couch??
Bearsmomma 30
That may be fine for one night. But if the bf is a regular/ serial snorerthing he should =. OrrrHope it's a comfortable couched the time though or its not worth it. Also some people don't have a couch. Small rooms may work better with 2 recliners.
tabletoplady 11
My husband has a deviated septum because of a couple of nose breaks. He snores like he's drowning in oatmeal. We've been together almost 9 years, and I still get sleepless nights. The best advice I can give you is to go to bed first lol
skippydoda 32
Either you get earplugs or see if your BF can get a sleep machine.
R_L_Jack 11
1 word-EARPLUGS i had to get used to them. You can still hear, but really muted.
Dumper420 3
Grosssssssssss. Dump him.
Schwuppdiwupp 13
Use freaking ear plugs. No sympathy for people who are too stupid to figure that out...
Inkoseh 33
I cannot stand the feeling of them, and they do not work 100%. I can still hear through them, and the snoring also vibrates the bed. You really think us, the people who live with this, haven't tried? It's like asking someone who can't see well if they've tried glasses. No sympathy! /s Thanks Captain obvious!