Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
LilEinstein 0
... or so she claims...
SilverMinnow 0
you know, some women still have periods while they're pregnant.
misslucero 3
my mother bled every month when she was pregnant with my little brother. she might not be lying.
cherryblossomchi 4
you should feel lucky she didn't say she was totally turned off by you
Bekkahboo1983 0
Some women have a period when they are pregnant. Get familiar, that's 5th grade info, genius!
fieldhockyluva24 4
I suggest you go back to 5th grade then. Women do not get their "period" while they are pregnant. A period is the shedding of an unfertilized egg. If she is pregnant than there is no egg to be shed. The OP's wife may not be lying about bleeding, though.
Cwandjr_fml 0
For all that said sex is no fun during prgnancy is crazy I've had two kids and both times my sex drive was higher than ever...
coletun1 0
they can still bleed during the pregnancy dumbass
dancingweed 2
you should tell her that sex doesnt hurt the baby
ItsThisGirl 17
It is possible to have a period while pregnant, whether any of you know it or not.
keyt1347 1
its still possible to have your period wen prego :p