Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
cwl727 33
If she said that to me I would tell her to get in the car we are going to the hospital because you could be having a miscarriage. Then see what she says.
squigglyragdoll 1
Maybe if you would take no for an answer...
worldclassrager 41
That's just an automatic response but why can't a no be given?
Rawrskies16 7
Having sex while the woman is pregnant can hurt the child and cause birth defects and also in some cases cause death. It forces air into the vaginal cavity which can move to the uterus and cause the child to develop birth defects and possibly cause death. So grow up and use your hand. If you can make a baby, you can grow up and learn to respect the woman you married and created a miracle with.
InfiniteSunshine 32
None of what you said is accurate, don't spread your misinformation and try to pass it off as fact. Air doesn't enter the uterus during sex while not pregnant, so it won't enter it when a woman is pregnant either. Not unless someone is blowing air directly into the ******. Air pockets don't cause birth defects. You need something that mutates a gene or causes a delay in development to have birth defects. So that is just a ridiculous claim. Many doctors not only say it's safe to have sex while pregnant, they actually encourage it. Sex while pregnant is not only safe, but HEALTHY.
kpetrovski 24
Old habits die hard.
EliGolsdworthy 7
I think the real question is is she really pregnant? Is there prove?
Tyrnasales 11
ydi for not believing her. with both my kids my wife had her period for 3-5 months of the pregnancy
Pseudonym 18
Dude, periods don't always stop just because you're pregnant. Since you're unaware of that fact I should also inform you that just because you're pregnant does not mean you cannot get pregnant again during your pregnancy. Hopefully the children will have better education.