Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
maex_fml 0
Do yourself a favor and leave the **** before its to late.
samanthayap 2
why would you want to have sex with her when shes pregnant?!! srsly are you that desperate?
jireh1999 5
why would u wanna have sex if she's pregnant
dancergrl4394 1
actually you can still have toyr period up to three months after your pregnant so yeah maybe she was on it you may never know
loudlady13 3
you don't have your period when your pregnent, nice try
wasdadeal 0
a real captain will sail even if the sea is red, thats what i say
meggrifingirl 0
some women still get their periods while there pregnet.
VeilOfVelvet 0
That hardly sounds catastrophic. So your wife wasn't in the mood. Big deal. And it's normal to have "spotting" during pregnancy, so it's possible she was telling the truth. And what's with the comments asking why he'd want to have sex if she's pregnant? I don't see what's wrong with that. It doesn't make him "desperate", he just wanted to share an intimate moment with his wife. And women don't even start to show until their 3 to 4 months along, so if you're thinking it wouldn't be fun to have sex with her because she's "fat", that definitely wasn't the case, here.
JordynnLOL 11
You know you can still get your period sometimes when you're pregnant, right?
birdfreak 24
you shouldnt **** a preggers lady.