Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
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Top comments
dlogsr 1
maybe because you called it "intercourse".
danza_fml 0
30 seconds? No comment.
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Comments (134)
devils69 0
He could have performance anxiety (a.k.a. stage fright), where he's just so nervous about sex that he can't keep it up. And as with most young men nowadays, he's probably very comfortable jacking it to ****. So he's hoping by peeking at a little skin mag, that'll help. If this is the issue, be supportive. If it's not, then he just isn't that turned on. -Dr. Devils69
sammie2 0
you call it "intercourse". geez... call it that if sex is a chore only required for baby-making purposes. you're not doing your part to keep him interested. "30 seconds in"??!! why weren't his eyes and hands on you that early on in the game? what were you looking off at that you didn't notice? you can't just lay back and make him bring it, you gotta bring it too. also, a talk is needed... if a guy would rather look at **** than fondle his girlfriend-- that's pretty sad and he may not even be interested in you anymore. no sense in wasting your time in a boring relationship if you can't even get good sex out of it!
Brittanyy 0
Uhh what the ****. How did you first of all not notice that he was looking at ****? And 30 seconds? I think you have a problem.
Quad17 0
maybe he likes u for ur personality
route95 0
I would dump him because he didn't have the courtesy to tell me that he needs **** magazines to maintain an erection. Warn me beforehand so I can be prepared and say whether I'm comfortable with it or not!
Naples 0
Everybody who thinks the guy has erection problems is a ******* retard, obviously if he gets an erection from watching **** but not from the girl going down on him, then the problem is either the technique or the physical appearance of the girl.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@25 It's embarrassing and can be difficult to talk about. If you need to be "prepared" and think you have the right to say whether or not you are comfortable with it, you are a terrible girlfriend. "Not telling me about his erection problem" is #2 on the worst reasons to dump a guy.
missalkali 8
yup. and #1 on that list is erection problems
Vehicle 1
Weirdo. Sounds like he's using you- Get out of that relationship.
strangersdk 0
No offense, but you may just be doing something either to turn him off or not doing the right thing to turn him on. I'm telling the truth when I say I have the same problem with my girlfriend, she was a virgin and I wasn't, and at first she just needed help because she was really bad and had no idea what to do. Just ask him the reason, maybe he just likes the ****, or maybe you're doing something he doesn't like.
areyoukiddingme_fml 0
oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll nooooooooooooo