Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
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Top comments
TransitionCovert 6
He is a keeper
CVeNgineer 0
Well he's got a point..
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Comments (181)
TransitionCovert 6
He is a keeper
Poser1337 5
He's an intellectual keeper. :D
kjcookie10 9
Huh... That is a very good point he made there...
neal001 0
Damn right
Susieee_Q 9
The sexiest organ is the brain after all, right? (:
zombicidal 11
is OP dating Jerry Seinfeld
kionnaloves 11
Ha nice try dude :P
zachattack112492 4
Rule #34.1, if it was never a porno, it's ur job to make it a porno
SassyBeaver 0
That's not rule 34.1
cooldukenukem 2
Anyone else puzzled about why they were sexting while close enough for them to see each other?
cooldukenukem 2
Misread sexing as sexting. My bad.
adela119 0
Hahaha oh my gosh! I'd laugh. You make it awkward. -,-
Cathaholic 9
I read it as sexting too, haha. Confused the hell out of me.
Jaguar1234 0
Awkward conversation
BAMitsnikki 8
How is talking intellectually awkward?
swimmer3141 10
The context...
CVeNgineer 0
Well he's got a point..
J3R3MYY 14
Haha, sexin it up.. Nuff said.
biasedshooter 24
And it's pitching his tent
LexSpades 4
He's got a point and obviously intellect turns him on, so watch out he may dump u if you act like a blond bimbo
noncomposmentis 6
Tell him you read the Kama Sutra.
ladyLALAA 29
Damn you, I was going to say playboy! Haha
bennie2789 0
I agree playboy
unitedfan11 0
Wait isn't OP a girl?...
noncomposmentis 6
Can't girls read the Kama Sutra?
bamagrl410 31
82 was probably referring to the playboy comments.
Stalkers 0
Read playgirl.
That0therguy 4
Awesome profile pic #4
inn0centaphid 19
Or 50 shades of gray
BeefyQueef 5
It's hard to find anywhere on the internet these days
CVeNgineer 0
Even if you would have correctly wrote *anything* it still wouldnt have made sense
drawmesunshine 17
9, Written** And I'm sure you can guess what he means, so let's not be rude now. (Hint: it was sarcasm.)
2ndSucks 15
I understood the comment perfectly. But hey, maybe I'm just stupid.
Ins_Knie 2
No 'would' in 'if' clause... And 'anywhere' in terms of sites makes sense. (@ 9)
emodude44 0
Actually have you ever read Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho? Quite the interesting novel. Quite.
ShakeMeDown 12
I like the popups :D
BeefyQueef 5
I was referring to intellectual conversation, and how it's difficult to find on the internet.
Kog_Hiro 17
There are more awkward things he could of said. He could of made some bad Skyrim reference about an arrow in the knee, but more penis in the ******. Or a complaint about a stolen sweetroll.
tylersign 11
Man approaches with his boner drawn, lady might get nervous?
myoukei 31
the "arrow in the knee" meme is the new "the cake is a lie" meme =_=
SaucierGirl 20
“I was once an adventurer like you, until I took my arrow to your sweet roll.”
Pentium_4 27
i mean, why not ask right?
RedPillSucks 33
Oh my gawd!!! My boy friend wants to have an intelligent discussion!!!! What do I doooo, what do I doooo???? OP, Do you need a moment? Chew it over with a twix.
Poser1337 5
Hey, at least he's intellectual. :P
BAMitsnikki 8
Look at the bright side; at least he isn't one of those pricks who only use girls for sex? :3.