Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
xsilentxninjax 10
You are not stupid, nor are you wrong. If she eat's fish, she must be a 'pescatarian' rather than a vegetarian. Pescatarian's are people who refrain from eating meat, but still choose to eat sea food, where vegetarians avoid consuming all animals.
commandercolbert 6
i heard some they also eat the occasional steak too... and chicken...smh
hflewellingg 5
A lot of vegetarians don't consider sea food "real meat" why that us I haven't the slightest idea.
spitonitdaddy 5
Technically shrimp isn't meat, any kind of fish and chicken are not meat
Andicc 19
Meat is any muscle, so you are telling me that chicken and seafood don't have muscles? They are meat, and you're a moron.
Ziggy122 15
She must be one of those vegetarians who only refuses to eat "cute" animals.
SexPot143 13
Lol. wooooow. I feel sorry for you OP. My condolences to your gfs lost brain (if she ever had one.) question though. is she blonde??
metalcrazed 21
Fishes and shellfish are still animals.
lisslyi 19
Not even getting.. What? Laid? D:
TurquoiseJesus 15
it seems almost all of the comments on this fml are people arguing over the definition of vegetarian. Repetition sure it fun.
SilentKnights 7
My friend is a pescatarian but she prefers using the term vegetarian instead. She told me it was because majority of people know what a vegetarian is and she doesn't have the patience to explain something. I'm not defending the OP's girlfriend, just saying that my friend does the same thing at times.
Ilmoran 20
The problem isn't that she calls herself a vegetarian. If she says she's a vegetarian and then someone asks why she's eating shrimp, explaining it calmly is fine. Saying vegetarians are allowed to eat fish (when really she is misusing the word for convenience) and calling the person stupid is not fine.
SilentKnights 7
For my friend, it really all depends on her mood when anyone asks. If she's in a good mood, she'll answer their question. But everyone finds her intimidating due to the way she does her make up, so they're pretty hesitant to ask her for further details and the likes. She is like me, in terms of personality, underneath all that make up. But I do agree that it is wrong of the OP's girlfriend to imply -or straight out say- that the OP has no brain and is basically calling him stupid. She could've explained it to him calmly, the specific type of 'vegetarian' that she is but she didn't. I find that very rude and disrespectful.