Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my date to a restaurant but I had no idea how picky of an eater she is. Our waiter had to practically use 3 pages in his notebook just to write down all her special requests for this single meal. By the end, I could see he really wanted to ask if she was being serious or taking the piss. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
snzizle 0
um this is stupid. why is this an fml?
Demon_fml 0
More like FHL!!! Was she blonde?
hwkfan1 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
today my boyfriend thought I was stupid enough to think that lobster was red meat FML
zen4681 8
Not all blonds are dumb, my two blond friends are really smart
fthelife_fml 0
um, because the girl was stupid and didn't get the concept of red meat...hahahha.
dontcallmekim 0
shes so smart
weinerdog 2
Well, I'd say it's an fml because the dude apparently can't find any dates that are smarter than a box of rocks.
rcbarnes 24
Seriously.
fortunelady 17
:) Great phrase. Also, dumber than a bag of hammers. :)
TurtleGenius 0
Well. She's a keeper.
omglolydi 0
This is when you turn around and drop her off at home
Lou_Briccant 0
This FML reminds me of my ex (not ex at the time) whom I convinced her that I didn't complete 7th grade and I had to go back or else they would take away my HS diploma.
christa953 12
how is it an Fml?
crazykidd15 0
it's not its just a story of his stupid ex
UnCensoredBitch 0
BAHAHAHAHA! Well at least shes a cheap date!
JessS92_ 0
k yeah this is kinda a pointless fml :S