Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
gazettefan42 8
Vegitarian scant have meat which includes fish and poultry. She has it confused with Pescetarianism I guess.
metalmommy 8
She is definitely in the wrong. vegetarians don't eat meat at all. Beef, Ham or fish. None.
poostickles 14
Obviously sea animals are vegetables, gosh
yellowaholic 25
OBVIOUSLY Shrimp isn't really meat because the crustaceon isn't cute and cuddly so it's not really an animal. -Op's girlfriend
beanthemouse 13
Because fish and sea creatures are certainly not animals! Its not like they move like animals.. Breathe like animals.. Know danger like animals.. Eat like animals.. Have organs like animals.. Move like animals.. Die like animals..
Shandra78 9
Definition, look it up folks: vegetarian, vegan, ovo-lacto vegetarian, pescaterian... vegan=no animals Technically she's a pescaterian if she eats only fish and shellfish as her primary protein source. It's still a style of vegetarianism.
DelphiCat 17
Nope. Pescatarianism isn't a "type" of anything. It's pescatarianism.
Merylwen 24
Most vegetarians I know eat fish. Anyway, give her a break. She can eat whatever she wants to.
tj4234 36
Those friends of yours aren't vegetarian. That's pescatarianism, not vegetarianism.
Merylwen 24
Yes, but they still call themselves vegetarians.
tj4234 36
But the fact is, they aren't vegetarian.
dravin_fml 7
Then she's not a vegetarian, she's a pescetarian. Almost the same thing but seafood is in the diet. To be fair, not many people know what pescetarian means. Thought in her case, she's just ignorant.
glabberfasted 16
These comments make me furious. By half of all you commenters' logic, I can call myself a vegan... Just, a vegan who still eats steak, chicken, eggs, milk, and cheese. Finally! I can have the title of vegan. ******* stupid.
godfathermock 19
give her the definition of vegetarian and see what happens.