Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
Pictureit13 6
It wasn't a question of what she was eating... It was a question of why she was eating something that wasn't of the norm. He asked a legit question... He was curious about what vegetarians can and can't eat... And as far as that goes, if she was a true vegetarian, she shouldn't have been eating shrimp. There's never a dumb question in life as long as it's not about judging someone.. Which he wasn't.
LizzieA112 8
So Is she a pescitarian?
knoxxx 22
There are different levels of vegetarianism, guys. People usually have their own reason for being vegetarian (like having respect for all living things, not wanting to contribute to animal cruelty, food allergies) so the animal products they don't eat are going to be different. Maybe OP's girlfriend doesn't think seafood counts as sentient life, like a lot of vegetarians.
smokecloud_ 37
Pescetarian. That is all.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
OK, so by your logic, I'm a vegan who just happens to LOVE steak and lobster and bacon and ham and chicken and fried catfish...but I'm still totally a vegan. DON'T JUDGE ME DAMMIT!!!! If you are a vegetarian, you don't eat meat - including fish. If you eat fish, you are a pescatarian. That is specifically what that word means. Granted, OP's girlfriend can call herself whatever she wants, but she really should be a bitch about it when she is using the wrong word to describe herself.
kohler_thanyou 5
I agree with you. some vegetarians, although they arent fully vegetarian, are doing it to be healthy. while others are animal rights activists. last time I checked shrimp isnt causing heart attacks like beef and fish arent abused for food.
smokecloud_ 37
So thousands of fish packed in a tiny fish farm like sardines (pun intended) is ok, but chickens aren't?
Coeliacchic93 21
how does being vegetarian not contribute to food allergies? gluten, soy and corn are major food allergens and most vegetarians eat more of food allergens like these. (note I said 'most' not 'all')
JMichael 26
Time to educate your girlfriend on what a vegetarian really is.
XTheDesertSongX 17
She's not a vegetarian if she consumes meat. She's a pescetarian, which is one who doesn't eat any meat except fish. Fish are meat.
TheMathMajor 26
... I don't call my boyfriend stupid
PeachiePrincess 16
I think she meant to say she was pescatarian, not vegetarian. Pescatarians are allowed to eat seafood, but cannot consume any other types of meat. If she was 100% confident in saying she was a vegetarian, then she must have her facts wrong.
kurodansei 16
yet.
xerbrus 14
2% exceptions when it comes to girlfriends
taylor21398 14
Fish are friends. Not food.
Traitoro 9
Just keep swimming.
Pictureit13 6
Just keep swimming
paigexox0 37
Just keep swimming swimming swimming