Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML
Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML
Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
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Top comments
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
It's ok OP. You obviously have a brain or else you wouldn't have been able to post this.
mollyjynxjax 28
The word she was looking for was pescatarian (the term for someone who eats fish meat but not any other kind of meat). So she was stupid to be arrogant in the first place, and doubly so for getting the term wrong.
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Comments (250)
atsignat 18
Vegetarians that eat cheese or drink milk others that prefers seafood proteins others do not. She needed to be specific about her habits rather than being so petulant about her. She is definitively not too smart to express her own needs
mattrd_fml 31
Most vegetarians are hypocrites. They don't meat because that's mean to animals then turn around and eat fish and other seafood.
DelphiCat 17
eat fish? Not a vegetarian.
silverpixiefly 4
I.don't understand how you can be a vegetarian and still eat meat. What is the difference between fish and cow that makes one okay to eat and the other not?
vikingkingog 4
She might be a certain type of vegetarian. Pesca-vegetarian if I remember correctly are allowed to eat seafood but not actual meat
NodakN8V 25
Can't fix stupid. Sometimes it's best to let nature take its course.
cutieQP 9
some vegetarians eat fish for whatever reason when though it's still meat. it's just not red meat.
OneFrayDragons 11
I didn't even kno that they could eat shrimp. She can't blame u for not being a vegetarian!
DanielleinDC 34
No, they don't. Vegetarians do not eat the flesh of animals, and fish, shrimp, lobster, and crabs are animals. It really pisses me off when people think vegetarians eat dead sea creatures. Fish is meat. Shrimps are meat. OP's girlfriend is either seriously misinformed or a total idiot. Vegans don't eat ANY animal foods--they don't eat the flesh of animals, they don't consume the milk of mammals, they don't eat eggs, they don't eat honey. And it also includes a lifestyle of avoiding products of animal exploitation, which I won't go into here.
Lastwhiteknight 11
I disagree ... I agree ... every argument on FML. Well I ... love bacon, so there!
smokecloud_ 37
I agree! :D
vikky538 29
its just a made up to get away from veggies..