Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
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Top comments
izzybd 20
You should probably go to a doctor
raesos91 26
aww, what did you name it?
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Comments (245)
mello2727 13
Holy shit go to the doctor. If it looked like an earthworm you probably have roundworms and I can guarantee that's not the only one...have fun with that.
StaceeeP 23
you'll have a whole colony of them in there... remember to wash your hands after going to the toilet, try not to scratch and don't share a towel with anyone and go to the Dr for medicine, they're really easy to get rid of
flamy676 9
Trying to get this out of my mind so I don't go to sleep imagining parasitic worms crawling all over me in my sleep. *shudders*
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
Is this the new plot for tremors 5?
karmicsamadi86 9
While Ascariasis is possible you can really only contract one if you been in a tropical climate. A tapeworm is more likely as it's found in many sources of protein, especially meat. It's best that you've passed one, however it's most likely that it's not the only one. See your doctor and if you'd like to expedite your diagnosis, walk with a stool sample.
immortalshadows 3
probably a tapeworm. go to Dr.
aargol721 3
Tapeworm...
CdelANGEL 3
Sounds like a tape worm
paez4 1
Drink a bunch of liquor to get rid of any worms still inside you! Some kid had to do it in Mexico while I was there, actually worked. Lol
DessaChan 9
holy shi- I would be scared to poop from now on if I were you O.O