Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
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Top comments
alyssa_22 0
Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?
iammeanttolive 0
Shit happens. (:
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Comments (84)
rofliloveyou 0
aw, well that's what you get for choosing the prettier one..
imthestory 0
this reminds me of jackass....
V4ZQU3Z 0
more like dumb and dumber!
WTSchool 0
You went in the 'prettier one'? YDI for not knowing that new toilets usually look 'prettier' than old ones.
KUSHaholic 0
similar to how we choose females these days lol tha prettier ones be tha wrong ones most tha time hahaa
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
if it wasn't connected there would be no water, I'm guessing op had to go pretty bad to not notice that
grimes5 0
I was thinking the same thing. Plus, it wouldn't be near the plumbing because I bet he knew where the old toilet originally would be. YDI OP
laya_fml 26
I agree. If you knew you were going to muck it up with all your crap, why would you pick the pretty one
iammeanttolive 0
Shit happens. (:
shiznutmuffin 0
probably fake toilets have no water in them unroll they are connected
shiznutmuffin 0
oops i actually meant untill
alyssa_22 0
Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?
MiGman 5
well #3 when you feel shitty and have to drop a duece I'm pretty sure you wouldn't look to ser if there's water in the crapper
Clioo_fml 17
Well then 79, if you're that desperate for a dump then you probably wouldn't care about 'sitting on the prettiest one' either.
scarlett_fml 0
If it wasn't connected, there wouldn't have been water. Owned.
kagome_eb 0
hahaha aww would of happen to anyone! don't worry to much about it.
RHK_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol stupid woman.
dont_stop_believ 0
how do u know it's s girl??doesn't say
gunnar7240 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because a guy wouldn't do that lol
pam241 15
you're an idiot
maddcow 0
#6 i was gonna comment how u knew it was a woman... then i realized, a real man wouldnt make that mistake
maconmann 0
I would have just left it there and blamed the dog.
RyeBreadBoy 0
how many people have two toilets in their bathrooms? wouldn't you wonder just from that? and, like 3 said, there should've been water. do girls not look at the toilet before they sit down? i guess that's why they whine about falling in.
rawritsdinogirl 4
Yes.
wargirl_fml 2
Would a guy choose the "prettier" one?
cadillacgal79 32
I actually look down to make sure everything's in order so yea u won't hear me whining.
cchamp27 0
When you opened it and saw there was no water, what the hell did you think?